Hated Telephone Hardly Used By Anyone At All (Except For Texts, Angry Birds, Etc.)


Good news, finally! People don't use the phone anymore. Sure, they use the phone, but not for the talky-talk jabbering bullshit part -- and by "people," we mean the New York media elitists and fashion designers and basic misanthropes who always hated the phone.

Here's what the NYT says about phones and Why We Hate Them:

Whereas people once received and made calls with friends on a regular basis, we now coordinate such events via e-mail or text. When college roommates used to call (at least two reunions ago), I would welcome their vaguely familiar voices. Now, were one of them to call on a Tuesday evening, my first reaction would be alarm. Phone calls from anyone other than immediate family tend to signal bad news.

Receiving calls on the cellphone can be a particular annoyance. First, there’s the assumption that you’re carrying the thing at all times. For those in homes with stairs, the cellphone siren can send a person scrambling up and down flights of steps in desperate pursuit. Having the cellphone in hand doesn’t necessarily lessen the burden. After all, someone might actually be using the phone: someone who is in the middle of scrolling through a Facebook photo album. Someone who is playing Cut the Rope. Someone who is in the process of painstakingly touch-tapping an important e-mail.

For the most part, assiduous commenting on a friend’s Facebook updates and periodically e-mailing promises to “catch up by phone soon” substitute for actual conversation. With friends who merit face time, arrangements are carried out via electronic transmission. “We do everything by text and e-mail,” said Laurie David, a Hollywood producer and author. “It would be strange at this point to try figuring all that out by phone.”

Haha, we know! Or, we don't know. While it's true that some people still insist on yakking on the mobile (assholes in track suits and/or middle-aged balding men trying to "act important" in a public place) and some people still work in idiotic professions (politics) where people love to hear the sound of their own dumb voice so much that they demand constant "conference calls," actual talking on the phone is almost dead. THANK ALLAH. [NYT}


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