Donate

Oh hi there


KNOCK ON WOOD, but it's a halfway sleepy news afternoon. Trump tweeted something stupid bout "WHY HILLARY NOT INVESTIGATED FOR RUSSIA, SAY ME THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION, DOY DOY DOY DOY DOY?" but fuck him, he tweets something stupid every day. So we figured now would be a good time to point out that Martin Heinrich, the junior senator from New Mexico, is smokin' hot. We had been noticing it as we covered hearings in the Senate Intelligence Committee. Who IS this man from Nazareth with the hot lips giving Trump administration officials what-for?

Right?

So we figured it was our utmost journalism responsibility this afternoon to go to Heinrich's Facespace and Instafuck pages, to find hot pictures and videos of him in the act of flagrant hotness.

Did you know that back in 2014, Heinrich and his Republican senator pal from the next state over, Jeff Flake, did a Discovery Channel TV show called "Rival Survival"? It is like some kind of outdoorsy survival thing, and they had to go to a deserted island and WORK BIPARTISAN to we dunno, not get eated by bears or something. We're not doing research for this post, as that would distract from finding hot pictures.

See? Here he is, in "wilderness."

And here he is with Flake, telling MSNBC how the bears did not eated them, at "wilderness":

Look at that dimple monster!

BLUE STEEL!

Anyway, do not worry, because Jeff Flake is not the only senator Heinrich plays outside with. Sometimes he wears these jeans REALLY WELL while he's playing outside with Senator Tom Udall:

And sometimes he doesn't even play outside with humans! Here he is in Washington, on the lawn by the Capitol, giving his lab-looking dog belly scratches while he says some kinda sexxxy words about the climate, we dunno:

The time to #ActOnClimate change is now! Keep making your voices heard and stay engaged - I'm with you. #ClimateMarch

A post shared by Martin Heinrich (@senatormartinheinrich) on

That is Ella. She is obviously a very good girl.

And guess what? The dog even gets to come inside his office, because Martin Heinrich isn't some kind of fucking ASSHOLE who leaves his dog chained to the Washington Monument all day while he does "Senate," gah why would you even think that?

Is Martin Heinrich down with the NOH8 campaign, what is about Be Nice To Gays? YES HE IS:

via the NOH8 campaign

But HANDS OFF, all you gays and also ladies, because Heinrich loves his wife Julie very much. Look but don't touch:

Of course if Julie has any pics on her phone that she wants to send us, so we can shamelessly objectify her husband, that is fine.

Oh look, Martin Heinrich caught you this fish:

And he is pals with your favorite president ever Barack Obama:

And he even looks cute eating beef jerky, which is apparently his FAVORITE:

And lastly, for real, man can fill out a pair of jeans:

This concludes our investigative journalism piece on how Martin Heinrich is a hot piece o' ass.

Please discuss what you have learned in the comments in this, your open thread.

Wonkette has no ads, and is fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!

$
Donate with CC

Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

Keep reading... Show less
Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
$
Donate with CC

It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc