As we already know, the only reason to get mad about someone being attacked with gropings, pepper spray, and very outre names is because she might be "your daughter." Do you have one of those? How would you feel if a bunch of grown up men sex-assaulted her and screamed "nigger lover" at her, all in the name of His Glorious Excellency, Donald J. Trump, Peace Be Upon Him? You would probably be a tad miffed! If you don't have a daughter though, it's cool. No big.

Janesville, Wisconsin, police say they are looking for this patriot.

loves Jesus and America too

He pepper-sprayed (not "allegedly") your 15-year-old daughter after she said the disgusting old man seen below groped her #boobs and, getting angrier and angrier, she either "pushed" the old man or gave him an effective little throat punch.

(Your daughter is allowed to throat-punch an old man who fondles her against her will, whatever the Janesville police might say, which is that she might face charges if she's found to have punched the man. By all means, take that one to the jury. Really, police, please proceed.)

Your editrix is curiously unable to find the hilarity in these foul people, and wishes the 15-year-old girl a nice fat settlement from both of these rank perverts. Unlike them, we assume she will spend it on college.

Lastly, we would like to remind you that while this scene is gut-punchingly horrible, more attention should have been paid when similar things happened at Trump rallies to young women of color.

While Shiya Nwanguma was only shoved and spat upon instead of Maced and allegedly fondled, her serenity in the face of these peckerwoods was both inspiring and crymaking. And your editrix does not cry easily, except she is lying and she totally does.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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