My fellow Americans:


TRUMP: I call it the Super Duper Missile, and I heard the other night 17 times faster than what they have right now, then you take the fastest missile we have right now ...

"Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

"We must be the great arsenal of democracy. For us this is an emergency as serious as war itself. We must apply ourselves to our task with the same resolution, the same sense of urgency, the same spirit of patriotism and sacrifice as we would show were we at war."

"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves, and, under a just God, cannot long retain it."

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

"I call it the Super Duper Missile."

Inscribe that one in the rotunda of the Trump Presidential Library Bookmobile, please.


Now, you might think Donald Trump was randomly talking about his penis during an Oval Office press availability, and quite frankly, we don't know that he does not refer to the old Yeti Shroom as his "Super Duper Missile." But it wasn't that.

And he's not talking about some cool new missile at "Army" either. It is a cool new missile at SPACE ARMY, AKA "Space Force," because there was an event at White House today for SPACE ARMY and they showed the new flag for SPACE ARMY and Trump said "space" is "the future," which is just obvious. What are all the cool TV shows with spaceships about? The future, which is in space.

And he calls the missile the "Super Duper Missile," because that is just what it is, it is 17 times faster than the non-super-duper missiles they have in Russia and 'GIIIIIIIIIINA! (That's what he was referring to, the missiles in Russia and 'GIIIIIIIIIIINA, Super Duper Missile is faster.)

We do not know if Super Duper Missile is literally invisible like the F-35 airplane, but we bet if somebody tells him that it is, it will make him happy.

In summary and in conclusion, OBAMAGATE!

Have a happy weekend, everyone, OPEN THREAD.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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