Heartbreaking: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Won't Let Us Rip Up Children, Like We Do All The Time

Class War
Heartbreaking: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Won't Let Us Rip Up Children, Like We Do All The Time

Sarah Huckabee, in case you forgot, is running for her Daddy's old job as Governor of Arkansas. She's a frontrunner in a field that also includes Elvis Presley. Or, rather, an Elvis impersonator/perennial candidate who legally changed his name to Elvis Presley.

Speaking this morning at Donald Trump's American Freedom Tour in Florida, Huckabee Sanders pledged to finally put a stop to people (us, we assume) from ripping up their children. While much of the context of the clip, posted to Twitter by Ron Filipkowski, is unclear, she does not appear to be talking about abortion, but rather how much we all hate the American Dream.

"We have people in this country who no longer believe like that," Huckabee said, ostensibly talking about someone who believed in the American Dream. "They no longer believe in the American dream, in fact, not only do they not believe in it, they want to stop it from happening. They don’t want to just put hurdles in front of our kid’s paths, they want to rip them up so they don’t even exist. And I refuse to sit back and do nothing and let it happen."

Are we ripping up the kids? Or the paths? Maybe the hurdles? It's very hard to tell what it is we are ripping. Maybe it is telephone books?

Apparently Sarah Huckabee Sanders thinks the "American Dream" is Tinkerbell and will die if not enough people believe in it. Perhaps she will suggest next that we can solve systemic inequalities with more clapping.

“Our country is too important," she continued, incomprehensibly. "Our country is too special to not fight for it. We have to do everything we can to protect the greatness of America.”

Which, again, apparently involves us not ripping up her children and preventing them from existing. Got it!

For what it's worth, no one is actually preventing anyone from "believing" in the "American Dream," or "believing" in anything else for that matter. But we do live in a free country where the First Amendment allows us to point out that the whole idea is in fact a noble lie meant to minimize class conflict, and also that, because we rely on the labor of the poor for most of our basic needs, America literally would not be able to function if everyone were to achieve the "American Dream." We can say that. We can also say that we're the ones trying to make paths accessible for everyone and to ensure that more of those paths lead somewhere good.

You know, when we're not tearing children limb from limb for shits and giggles.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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