Hedge Fund Criminal Gets 11 Years, Which Should Placate Everyone

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A notorious hedge fund manager found guilty of the most blatant insider securities trading since the Reagan Era was sentenced to 11 years in federal prison today, which experts hope will "calm everyone the fuck down and maybe stop this revolution." But the fat, diabetic billionaire's mild prison sentence for his organized crime spree and $72 million in theft will probably just enrage everybody further -- including millions of angry, jobless Americans who have never heard of Raj Rajaratnam before today. Besides, all of his co-conspirators at Goldman Sachs and McKinsey & Co. and various other evil Wall Street crime syndicates are getting away withtheir part. Rajaratnam himself -- only in his 50s, and so degenerate that he would not even buy himself a couple of personal trainers and chefs to feed him properly -- will require kidney transplants and will likely die before he's released, so that he cheats justice until the very end. Still, prosecutors wanted a 19-year sentence, because people are freaking the hell out and it's going to be guillotine time if we don't throw these mobs some show-trial distractions.


Reuters reports:

Raj Rajaratnam, a self-made hedge fund tycoon convicted in the biggest Wall Street trading scandal in a generation, was ordered on Thursday to serve 11 years in prison, one of the longest sentences ever in an insider-trading case but far less than prosecutors sought.

The sentencing caps a prosecution, marked by secret wiretaps of Rajaratnam and his associates, that shocked the investment world. Rajaratnam once ran a $7 billion hedge fund, but was found guilty of running a network of informants who provided him with corporate secrets.

Ha ha, of course it "shocked the investment world." Nobody's supposed to get in trouble for criminal manipulation of the phony capital markets. [Reuters]

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