Heidi Heitkamp Not Voting For Quaaludes McRapeVan, Because Fuck You Is Why
Hooray for red state Democrat Heidi Heitkamp, who is facing one of the toughtest re-election fights of them all, and who has decided that regardless of what happens on November 6, she's voting her conscience on Brett Kavanaugh. And since she has a conscience, that means she is voting FUCK NO.
You hear that Joe Manchin? Senator Heitkamp is down in the polls, and she's voting no. You are up in the polls, by almost ten points, and you can totally afford to vote against likely sexual predators on the Supreme Court! Make like a Heidi Heitkamp and don't be a fucking dick, JOE.
Here is Heitkamp's statement:
Heitkamp's statement includes some of the usual Red State Democrat rigamarole about how #BothSides handled this poorly, but in the end she says she had to look at the "totality" of the situation, including that hearing last week where Brett Kavanaugh cried and moaned about his precious calendars and yelled about conspiracy theories and just generally lied a lot. He really should have smiled more.
She also talks quite a bit about the testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, and the need for America to take sexual abuse victims seriously, before concluding that Donald Trump could easily nominate somebody who is not gross and rapey. She is just saying.
Cook Political Report still has Heitkamp's race rated as a toss-up, but some new Fox News polls came out yesterday, including a North Dakota poll where she's down TWELVE POINTS. Will Democratic enthusiasm be enough to squeak her by? It's unclear. Regardless, she is in the most dangerous position of any Democratic senator, and she's taking this stand anyway. Why? Because fuck you is why.
Speaking of "toss-ups," this is where the other questionable senators stand, as far as we know:
Ben Sasse did his usual song and dance on the Senate floor last night, where he eloquently stated every reason he should vote against Donald Trump's wishes, this time with some extra crocodile tears about sexual assault, and according to his office, he remains "undecided." But considering the fact this is Ben Sasse, please nobody get your hopes up that he'll do the right thing. Maybe he just hasn't decided what to wear when he votes "yes."
Jeff Flake and Susan Collins have been trying very hard to get to the "yes" on Kavanaugh that they already decided was going to be a "yes" two months ago, and they are reportedly very pleased with the bullshit FBI investigation that anybody who is not A Idiot can see is a bullshit FBI investigation. Quick, somebody, follow Flake onto an elevator! We'd say somebody should follow Collins onto an elevator too, but sadly, we think she's beyond hope. But ... hey ... maaaaybe???
Hey, maybe Lisa Murkowski will still vote against! She's not saying much right now.
Joe Manchin? Who the fuck ever knows. He's kind of useless.
Regardless, and we hate to say it, but it looks at this point like fucker's getting confirmed, just barely. (And then ENDLESSLY INVESTIGATED.) But keep protesting and keep calling your senators and keep yelling and never give up, because in Trump's America, the news can change on a dime, sometimes 46 times a day.
We'll close this post with a message from Senator Bob Menendez, who is so mad about the FBI's "bullshit" investigation into Brett Kavanaugh he's gonna say a cuss!
Listen to Bob, guys. He is aware of all FBI investigation traditions!
And if you are a North Dakota voter, call Senator Heitkamp and say thank you and then go find two new voters to take to the polls and save her seat. OK? LET'S GO.
Also, OPEN THREAD FOR YOU IS RIGHT NOW!
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