Get off our TV.

Jill Stein has been watching the television from whatever underground hut she lives in, and she is sore alarmed that this Donald Trump rapscallion seems to be beating the drums of war against North Korea! That is not the correct approach! Did Jill Stein not just recently use her immense foreign policy expertise to explain on television that North Korea is simply frightened, because everybody unfairly demonizes the nation all the time? Dr. Jill Stein can write a prescription for the medicine North Korea needs, and it is that maybe they wouldn't be so mean if their brains weren't being cooked by vaccines and Wi-Fi technology!

Oh wait, that's not right. Jill Stein must have been reading her Jill Stein Dipshit Talking Point Flashcard upside down. Silly Jill Stein!

Regardless, the point is NUCLEAR WAR IS BAD (correct), so Jill Stein picked up her magic Twitter wand and, like a fairy godmother doing Bibblty Bobbity Boos at Cinderella, made the following wisdom about North Korea appear:

Shit! Jill Stein's magic Twitter wand must be fucked up again. Why is it showing tweets from last year, when #EverythingWasDifferent, because #Reasons?

Fuckin' wand did it again! Why is Twitter reminding Jill Stein of how Jill Stein predicted that Hillary Clinton, who has been in public service for 4,386 years and knows full fucking well how to stay out of nuclear war, would DEFINITELY PROBABLY FOR SURE accidentally stumblefuck us into a nuclear war if she was elected president? How is that even pertinent to today's discussion?

Besides, Jill Stein probably assumes, based on the very good logic inside her brain, that had Hillary been elected, she would have thrown us into a modern-day Cuban Missile Crisis in SIX DAYS instead of six months. What is even your point, Wonkette?

Jill Stein tried once more, VERY CAREFULLY, and produced the following missives, which we must all heed, because they are Dr. Jill Stein's orders:

Thanks for the #knowledge and the phone number, Jill Stein. Helpful as always.

Now, if Jill Stein doesn't mind, we'll take it from here, so Jill Stein can feel free and unencumbered to commence the hard work of shutting the fuck up please.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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