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Jill Stein has been watching the television from whatever underground hut she lives in, and she is sore alarmed that this Donald Trump rapscallion seems to be beating the drums of war against North Korea! That is not the correct approach! Did Jill Stein not just recently use her immense foreign policy expertise to explain on television that North Korea is simply frightened, because everybody unfairly demonizes the nation all the time? Dr. Jill Stein can write a prescription for the medicine North Korea needs, and it is that maybe they wouldn't be so mean if their brains weren't being cooked by vaccines and Wi-Fi technology!

Oh wait, that's not right. Jill Stein must have been reading her Jill Stein Dipshit Talking Point Flashcard upside down. Silly Jill Stein!

Regardless, the point is NUCLEAR WAR IS BAD (correct), so Jill Stein picked up her magic Twitter wand and, like a fairy godmother doing Bibblty Bobbity Boos at Cinderella, made the following wisdom about North Korea appear:

Shit! Jill Stein's magic Twitter wand must be fucked up again. Why is it showing tweets from last year, when #EverythingWasDifferent, because #Reasons?

Fuckin' wand did it again! Why is Twitter reminding Jill Stein of how Jill Stein predicted that Hillary Clinton, who has been in public service for 4,386 years and knows full fucking well how to stay out of nuclear war, would DEFINITELY PROBABLY FOR SURE accidentally stumblefuck us into a nuclear war if she was elected president? How is that even pertinent to today's discussion?

Besides, Jill Stein probably assumes, based on the very good logic inside her brain, that had Hillary been elected, she would have thrown us into a modern-day Cuban Missile Crisis in SIX DAYS instead of six months. What is even your point, Wonkette?

Jill Stein tried once more, VERY CAREFULLY, and produced the following missives, which we must all heed, because they are Dr. Jill Stein's orders:

Thanks for the #knowledge and the phone number, Jill Stein. Helpful as always.

Now, if Jill Stein doesn't mind, we'll take it from here, so Jill Stein can feel free and unencumbered to commence the hard work of shutting the fuck up please.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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And now for some very serious TUT TUTTING! It's time again for Republicans to make sad words about President Treason McTraitorpants selling out the country. This time they are seriously concerned, nay even deeply troubled, that Donald Trump would stand next to Vladimir Putin and pretend the Russians didn't hack the 2016 election. These patriotic Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED! Well, not, like, upset enough to do anything about it -- not with a fascist carpooler to jam into the Supreme Court. But they've got tweets, so it's all good!

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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