A Baltimore Sun profile of Cafe Milano provides us with a Rosetta Stone to D.C. celebrity math, informing us that spotting Tom Ridge and Bill Clinton at the bar of the Georgetown is "the D.C. equivalent of the Olsen twins dancing on a table." Of course. Bill and Tom = Mary-Kate and Ashley. Tom DeLay is our Lindsay Lohan and John McCain is Chloe Sevigny. Or is it something with a hint of rehab that prompts comparisons between Ridge and Clinton and skeletal tweensters? Like, for instance, that the article has Ridge "working on one more drink - 'a vodka and Grey Goose,' he requests."

Right. Waiter, there's not enough vodka in my vodka. Could I get some more alcohol with my drink? We knew there something we liked about his guy, and it wasn't the color coded terror alert system -- though this approach to drinking does explain a lot about why anyone thought that was a good idea. As department spokesperson Brian Roehrkasse says later in the piece: "This entire bar is the leadership of the Department of Homeland Security." If you can't get hammered at the office Christmas party, the terrorists have won.

Cafe Society [Baltimore Sun]