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Here Is A Painting Of Ghost Andrew Breitbart As A Nordic Knight

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Patriot Depot, supplies for the conservative revolution, has what you crave, and that is seven different versions of this amazing portrait of Ghost Andrew Breitbart titled Fight. You could buy it in a pack of post cards; you could buy a giclee print; you could buy a $49.95 version, or a $3,999.95 version, because $4000 would just be a silly price to pay for this, but $3,999.95 is a steal!


In a previous life, your Editrix spent 12 years as an actual art critic, the kind who never didn't have a shiv in her pencase and a sneer upon her face. But she always had room in her heart for art atrocities of the naif tradition -- Slate pitches taking the form of art reviews, if you will -- and this work by David Bugnon is the kind of masterpiece of Outsider art, a veritable holocaust-tsunami of bad taste, for which she would have #warred all those other stupid art critics who were too busy fawning over Richard Diebenkorn or some other AbEx total crap (and 50 years too late) to understand the beauty of a work like Fight. Look at the loving attention paid to the contours of Ghost Andrew Breitbart's fat face! Look at the fanboy comic-geek detail on that super-bitchen sword and armor! Look at the improperly foreshortened arm, which would have left Ghost Andrew Breitbart with little 18-inch-long stub arms that couldn't have even reached his pockets! Look at those steely dreamy sexboat eyes, undressing you out of your altarboy cassock! The only problem with Fight that we can possibly see is that David Bugnon got Hell's lighting wrong.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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If the world was a reasonable place, it would be entirely illegal to be as self -serving and full of shit as Mitch McConnell. In a desperate and pitiful play to shame Democrats into folding over like a bunch of beach chairs and coalescing around the Trump Train, that shifty-eyed turtle-faced goobledonker (I made that up and it fits, use it) decided to write himself an op-ed. Wait until you get a load of the title of his masterful self-own, you ready? Ok, here it is: "Will Dems work with us, or simply put partisan politics ahead of the country?"

Are you dead yet? Many of us Democrats saw that headline and keeled over from the hell-ified audacity of Mr. Dorkface Obstruction Man trying to project his shit onto us. We can't be the only ones who remember a certain senator (surprise, it was Mitch McConnell!) saying his main goal was to make Obama a one-term president while he did everything he could to obstruct the Democrats. Oh yeah, and also MERRICK FUCKING GARLAND.

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You know how whenever one of these horrible mass shootings happens, and we find out about the shooter, you think to yourself, "Where the hell was the family here? No one who knew this person thought to call the police or put them in an institution or take their guns away?" Well, finally, one family did call the police on their gun-hoarding, neo-Nazi, mass-murderer-idolizing relative -- and they may have prevented another mass shooting by doing so.

On Tuesday afternoon, Washington D.C. police arrested 30-year-old neo-Nazi Jeffrey R. Clark Jr. on federal charges of illegally possessing a firearm while using or addicted to an illegal substance (spoiler: the illegal substance was meth), and on local charges of possessing a high-speed magazine. The police were called in by members of Clark's family who were starting to get freaked out by his many anti-Semitic outbursts about how the 11 people who died in the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting "deserved it," and his description of the massacre as a "dry run for things to come," combined with the fact that he owned a whole lotta weapons.

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