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Would you like to watch a joyful video featuring America's last competent and smart and sexxxy president, Barry Bamz-A-Lot McGee? Of course you would! You are probably already traveling for Thanksgiving, so STOP WATCHING THIS VIDEO WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING, IDIOT. But if you are not currently operating a motor vehicle, please proceed with this post!

Anyway, Barack Obama was saying words at his Obummer Foundation Summit, put on by the Nobummer Foundation, and he was talking about why it's so dang hard for America to actually get Great Again in these trying times. He didn't mention Donald Trump's name, because he only does that when he really wants to, but he sure did list some of the things that are holding us (read: Trump) back. You know, like racism.

And "mommy issues."


You can see him say it in this video posted by whoever is charge of taking dumps all over the RNC's YouTube account, probably Ronna ROMNEY McDaniel, because they are so very LOLGRRRMAD Obama said this:

Barack Obama Trashes Americans: “Confused, Blind, Shrouded With Hate, Anger, Racism, Mommy Issues" www.youtube.com

Later on he REALLY stuck the knife in Trump's beef body when he said, "I believe in reason and logic and all these enlightenment values." Meanwhile, Donald Trump just screams at clouds and nobody ever knows WTF he is talking about and it's entirely possible his brain has syphilitic wombats in it, and that his Yeti Pubes have fleas. POINT: Obama.

Anyway, you'd have mommy issues too if this was your mommy:

assets.rbl.ms

Know what would REALLY give you mommy issues? If that was your mommy and she always put the Thanksgiving turkey in her Down Theres, because we think that's what Trump meant when he said you have to "gestate" the turkey for a long time, just like mommy did.

OK, we are very sorry for all the mental images in your brains right now, so here is Beto O'Rourke cutting flank steak, to sexxx you up and make us all pregnant:

That's right.

This has been a Thanksgiving message from Barack Obama, Beto O'Rourke's meat, and also yr Wonkette.

Now have an OPEN THREAD!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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photo by Dominic Gwinn

There was a time, a few months ago, when everyone had written off Elizabeth Warren. Well, not me, because I am a fabulous genius, but lots of other people. The "very reasonable" talking heads on all the various news channels, the kind of people who used to say things like "Oh, we'd like universal health care too, but 'the people' will never go for it!" but who definitely did not actually want universal health care for any reason, and even the Trump campaign. Though, to be fair, the Trump campaign didn't think Trump had much of a chance of winning in 2016 either.

But now, as more and more people hear her speak, hear her plans, hear what she wants to do and how she wants to do it... Elizabeth Warren is rising up in the polls. She's a contender. In the most recent Quinnipiac poll, she was closing in on Sanders for second place nationally, and in California and Nevada polls, she's in second place.

And now, according to a report from Politico, the Trump campaign is now scrambling and panicking and... stalking her?

Keep reading... Show less
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5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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