Here Is Some Robert Mueller News, Because Trump's Ass Wasn't Itching Enough!

Poor Robert Mueller! Somebody needs to give him a back rub and an adult beverage, because he's just got a hell of a lot going on this week, and we're not just talking about how the FAKE NEWS has it that Donald Trump is thinking up fun and creative ways to fire him right now, perhaps by firing Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein first! (That is a story for a different post, also to be happening this morning!) He's passing investigations into Michael Cohen over to the Southern District of New York (SDNY) so they can do FBI raids, to collect mounds of evidence that DEFINITELY FOR SURE are only about payouts to Stormy Daniels and DEFINITELY FOR SURE aren't being passed right back to Mueller's prosecutors. Meanwhile, he's in court dealing with Paul Manafort's increasingly sad attempts to make all his indictments go away, and now we have breaking news from that oh by the way, the Mueller investigation is expanding into looking at NEW meetings in the Seychelles that we didn't already know about! (We know about the one featuring Blackwater sadist Erik Prince and the Russian investment dude, the one Prince lied his ass off about to Congress. These are DIFFERENT ONES.)

Check it out:

The inquiry into the meetings in the Seychelles suggests there is growing interest on the Mueller team in whether foreign financing, specifically from Gulf states, has influenced President Trump and his administration. [...]

The meetings in the Seychelles are a key component of Mueller's investigation, sources familiar with the investigation said. The meetings connect powerful players from Russia, the U.S., the UAE and Saudi Arabia across the political, financial and defense worlds. The details of what was discussed in the meetings in January and in the following months, however, are scarce.

Flight records and financial documents obtained by this reporter over twelve months, as well as interviews with parliamentary and aviation officials in the Seychelles, paint a scene out of a Hollywood thriller.

Wealthy and politically-connected individuals from across the globe -- from Russia, France, Saudi Arabia and South Africa -- land in the Seychelles for meetings that take place as a part of a larger gathering hosted by MBZ [Crown Prince Mohammed bin Zayed Al-Nahyan of Abu Dhabi], according to an individual briefed on the matter, who also requested anonymity. Many of them fly in on private jets and several do not clear customs. Some check into the Four Seasons Hotel while others arrive and stay on their yachts.

There is a lot more information at, but suffice it to say it sounds like the Seychelles is where ERR-BODY goes to have conspiracy meetings. Saudi Arabians, Russians, this guy Alexander Mashkevitch who is apparently a funder linked to Bayrock Investments, the company run by Trump Organization collaborator Felix Sater in New York, just ERR-BODY. Oh yeah, and Mueller's new cooperating witness George Nader, who is just ALWAYS in the Seychelles with his Russian, Saudi and Emirati pals. And Mueller is interested in all of this, as part of his investigation into whether Trump people conspired with Russia to steal an election. How interesting!

Either Mueller is in a rabbit hole darker and more complex than that thing that happens when you start reading Wikipedia while you're stoned, or he's uncovered some SHIT. Whoa if true, right? Something resembling a great global conspiracy between Trump-associated people and some skeevy foreigns to steal the Middle East and its resources, while dividing the world into spheres of influence, while strengthening Vladimir Putin and enriching all his favorite oligarchs? Gonna guess it's somethin' like that!

Anyway, Donald Trump is probably going to try to pull a Saturday Night Massacre on us sometime this week (be ready to take to the streets!), because all of this information that's coming out is fake news and a literal attack on America. That's what Trump said Monday night, right? Because of how he is upset that his thug baby lawyer got raided and that probably means Mueller has more receipts than EVER on what a criminal the president is?

Oh well, it's only Wednesday! Guess we'll just have to see!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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