Here Is Your Daily Affirmation That Republicans Are Dicks

Republican Senate class photo

We don't need any reminders that Republicans are the worst. Like, ever again. Seriously, we are all good with this lifetime supply already. Sadly, that doesn't stop them from jumping up and down and waving their hands in the air like they just don't care (because they don't) and saying, "Remember now? And now? And now? Don't forget! NEVER FORGET!"

So on Wednesday, when a name emerged of a potential Supreme Court nominee to replace Dead Scalia -- and that name was Republican Gov. Brian Sandoval of Nevada, who, in case you missed it half a sentence ago, is a Republican -- the GOP didn't waste any time at all doing that thing they do.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell's spokesdweeb said, "The Leader didn’t say the Senate would act 'if' it was a certain type of nominee." Ditto from Texas Sen. John Cornyn, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, whose job it is to hold confirmation hearings of judicial nominees, except for when Barack Obama is president, apparently. After all, every single Republican committee member just signed a Sternly Worded Letter to McConnell on Tuesday, declaring that they will not be doing their job until someone else besides Obama is president, "to protect the will of the American people."

Let us imagine for a moment what would happen in the private sector if an employee informed his boss that FYI, he's not showing up to work until next January because DON'T WANNA.

McConnell also threw a hissy fit on the floor of the Senate Tuesday, saying Joe Biden this and Abraham Lincoln that and in conclusion, fuck you, Mr. President.

So who is this Brian Sandoval fellow, besides a Republican? Well, he's the governor of Nevada -- not exactly the most bleeding-heart deep-blue state in the U.S. of A. However, despite being a Republican, he expanded Medicaid in his state, through Obamacare, like some kind of socialist Nazi slave-owner Demoncrat who wants his citizens to have healthcare. Also, he doesn't hate the fuck out of abortion. So yeah, clearly a RINO, one Republicans would never, ever, how dare you even suggest it! EVER consider approving, EVER:

The Senate unanimously confirmed Sandoval as a district court judge in 2005 after he was nominated by President George W. Bush. The Nevada Republican stepped down from the bench in 2009 to run for governor and is now counted among the most popular governors in the nation.

Well, OK, maybe the one time. But it was different then, because reasons. Dumb goddamned reasons, like how Republicans are dicks and they will obstruct anything President Obama tries to do, in the name of being dicks. If he introduced a bill to make Jesus the official Christ of America, they'd filibuster the goddamned thing, and we'd probably have to listen to Ted Cruz whine on the floor of the Senate about it.

So yeah. Maybe Obama was playing eleventy-dimensional chess, just to prove these ass maggot Republicans who run Congress suuuuuuuuuuuck. But you know, we already knew that. Because they will never let us forget.

[WaPo / NYT / McConnell Senate page]


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