We almost do not have words to describe how utterly weird this interview Lou Dobbs did with Trump White House white nationalism czar Stephen Miller is. Should we talk about that time Stephen Miller put weird hair paint on his non-hair, and compare and contrast that with what appears to be Lou Dobbs's lifetime supply of dollar store off-brand Just For Men? Can we do that instead of talking about how this is eight solid minutes of just the weirdest pant-shitting racism we've seen from the Trump administration and its state media organ Fox News in at least a week?

OK fine, we will talk about the interview.

Again, this is eight minutes of racism and white nationalism and all kinds of other vile things, but it is also just a good snapshot of how these people occupy a completely different reality from the rest of us, one that is actually not real.

Dobbs started by congratulating Miller on "the MS-13 operation." Gentle reader, did you know there was an "MS-13 operation"? Apparently there was. Maybe it's legit and got some real bad guys. Maybe it's Donald Trump's evil henchmen at DOJ and ICE doing their usual fear-mongering race-baiting bullshit. IDEA: maybe it's both. Regardless, it is BIG NEWS to Lou Dobbs and the Fox News viewers at home, who apparently sit around and shit their pants a lot because they think MS-13 is going to knock on their doors and say it's selling Girl Scout cookies, but that's how they gitcha, and then they will do all the murders.

In the Trumpian Fox News limpdicked racist brain, "MS-13" is obviously one of the biggest threats America faces. Just like "Antifa" and Black Lives Matter and a bunch of other very scary people. THEY'RE COMING TO GET YOU! AIYEEEEEEEEEE!

Miller said it was a "historic day" and referred to the gang members as "soulless barbarians," because you can't just fight violent crime. You have to call the people with brown skin "barbarians," because how else will people remember to think of them as animals? Some of whom, Donald Trump assumes, are nice people.

Miller then explained who the real enemy is, and it is the liberal mayors and the radical left and the socialists:

You have this president taking out criminal gangs and terrorists at record speed, and with record force and focus. And then you have the radical left, the liberal mayors, the crazy socialists unleashing violence and mayhem upon our cities. That's the choice that every American faces: public safety under this president, or lawless mayhem under the radical left!

Lou Dobbs nodded along like yes, that is the truth about how it is in America. The liberal mayors and the leftists are doing mayhem to you, but only Trump can keep the socialists from killing you. Ayup.

Dobbs described how Portland is being "savaged by antifa and Black Lives Matter," expressing alarm that they are not even taking one night per week off from their mayhem! Everybody else takes a day off. BUT NOT THESE DEVILS.

Miller replied that there is a "silent majority" that will "clean house of these leftist mayors." You know how big liberal cities like Portland and Minneapolis and New York, just full of secret "silent majority" white nationalists who totally live there. Also, do not worry, because Miller said Trump is going to announce a thing next week to "come to the rescue of these long-suffering citizens." (Who exist. And are long-suffering.)

Dobbs whined that when Trump invades America again like he's always threatening to do, everybody is going to be like "waaaaaaah, Donald Trump is invading America again," which is a totally unfair thing to say about Dear Leader. Miller said "moms and dads," even in these liberal hellholes, totally support the police, and also too are totally scare-mongered about the MS-13s murdering their children all the time, so we guess they will probably be happy when Trump invades their cities. (But in a "silent majority" way, obviously.)

It just goes ON and ON and ON like this.

Blah blah blah "Obama-Biden administration allowed MS-13 into our country" blah blah blah "unleashed these killers into our communities" blah blah blah "normal Americans" (Stephen Miller meant white nationalists like him) don't like it when MS-13 murders all living (white) Americans at all times blah blah blah blah blah.

Dobbs whined bout New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, and Stephen Miller interjected to say De Blasio is "very unwell," and assured Dobbs that Bill Barr's Department of Justice will do something very Ford Tough to protect New Yorkers from their socialist mayor. Or something. There was so much racism and pant-shitting fearmongering flying, it was hard to tell who was the subject of the Two Minutes Hate at any given moment.

Oh yes, and Dobbs would like to know why the Justice Department is not investigating Black Lives Matter. Miller did not have an announcement to make about that, but he assured Dobbs that the Trump administration is on the case, Kremlin-style, except for how the first rule of turning America into a Kremlin-style hell-state where the government targets its political enemies is that you never say "Kremlin-style," so obviously he didn't say "Kremlin-style."

Dobbs ended the interview with this brain thought about Black Lives Matter:

DOBBS: It's interesting that they don't put that in their motto, Marxist lives matter, as well. You would think a Marxist organization would, but there it is.

Yeah, well, huh, you betcha. That is definitely a brain thought you had right there, Lou Dobbs. Good thinkin'.

Did we mention it was eight solid minutes of weird shit? It was eight solid minutes of weird shit.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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