Need something to be happy about today? It is Ruth Bader Ginsburg's birthday, and she is 86 years old, and she's been back at work for WEEKS now, ever since her most recent bout of having to tell cancer to kiss her ass.


If you are wondering how to celebrate RBG's birthday, a good way would be to write a very good legal opinion about how Brett Kavanaugh needs to be deleted from the Court. Another way would be to engage in RBG's favorite pastime, which is called Going Planking, and it is an Exercise Thing she does! If you are in DC, a group is doing a Plank-In on the Supreme Court steps this very afternoon, and here is why:

In a recent interview, when RBG was asked who the most important person was in her life, she replied, "My trainer."

RBG planks day in and day out so that SHE. CAN. KEEP. DISSENTING.

Planking is very good. We have been known to do it a time or two, but definitely not like RBG, who could obviously beat us up if she wanted to.

If you need more information on how to get buff like RBG, here is a video of Stephen Colbert working out with her and trying to keep up:

Stephen Works Out With Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Now that you have watched that, we need to take you back to that time in December when we were all worried about RBG because she had just had cancer surgery, even though we knew things were probably going to be OK, considering how she had turned her room at Sloan Kettering into a freaking judge's chambers. Soon after that, she went home, and you know what she did? SHE WENT PLANKING.

A day after returning home from the hospital following cancer surgery in December, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was back working out with her trainer, Bryant Johnson.

"Here's what she does: She shows up," Johnson said in an interview with CNN this week, his first since Ginsburg's surgery.

The routine was light, to be sure, as Ginsburg gingerly completed rotational exercises and some stretching. She could barely do a two-minute warm-up on the treadmill. Johnson doesn't minimize the fact that she was "moving slow" after what he called "massive surgery." But she was eager, he said, "to get back as quickly as possible to training."

"She's a machine," Johnson concluded.

Johnson told CNN that this week was the first since the surgery that she's back to doing push-ups off of her knees, and when they said IS SHE GOING PLANKING he was like yeah duh of course she is. Also he says planking actually isn't her favorite, but it sounds more like she respects planking, because of how it makes her strong like bear.

Anyway, happy birthday RBG! As for the rest of you, it's the end of the day and the end of the week, so now that we've all had an inspirational story time about planking, it's time to lie on our asses and drink.



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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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