Donate

Need something to be happy about today? It is Ruth Bader Ginsburg's birthday, and she is 86 years old, and she's been back at work for WEEKS now, ever since her most recent bout of having to tell cancer to kiss her ass.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RBG!

If you are wondering how to celebrate RBG's birthday, a good way would be to write a very good legal opinion about how Brett Kavanaugh needs to be deleted from the Court. Another way would be to engage in RBG's favorite pastime, which is called Going Planking, and it is an Exercise Thing she does! If you are in DC, a group is doing a Plank-In on the Supreme Court steps this very afternoon, and here is why:


In a recent interview, when RBG was asked who the most important person was in her life, she replied, "My trainer."

RBG planks day in and day out so that SHE. CAN. KEEP. DISSENTING.

Planking is very good. We have been known to do it a time or two, but definitely not like RBG, who could obviously beat us up if she wanted to.

If you need more information on how to get buff like RBG, here is a video of Stephen Colbert working out with her and trying to keep up:

Stephen Works Out With Ruth Bader Ginsburg www.youtube.com

Now that you have watched that, we need to take you back to that time in December when we were all worried about RBG because she had just had cancer surgery, even though we knew things were probably going to be OK, considering how she had turned her room at Sloan Kettering into a freaking judge's chambers. Soon after that, she went home, and you know what she did? SHE WENT PLANKING.

A day after returning home from the hospital following cancer surgery in December, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was back working out with her trainer, Bryant Johnson.

"Here's what she does: She shows up," Johnson said in an interview with CNN this week, his first since Ginsburg's surgery.

The routine was light, to be sure, as Ginsburg gingerly completed rotational exercises and some stretching. She could barely do a two-minute warm-up on the treadmill. Johnson doesn't minimize the fact that she was "moving slow" after what he called "massive surgery." But she was eager, he said, "to get back as quickly as possible to training."

"She's a machine," Johnson concluded.

Johnson told CNN that this week was the first since the surgery that she's back to doing push-ups off of her knees, and when they said IS SHE GOING PLANKING he was like yeah duh of course she is. Also he says planking actually isn't her favorite, but it sounds more like she respects planking, because of how it makes her strong like bear.

Anyway, happy birthday RBG! As for the rest of you, it's the end of the day and the end of the week, so now that we've all had an inspirational story time about planking, it's time to lie on our asses and drink.

OPEN THREAD!

[CNN]

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette is ad-free and funded ONLY by YOU, our dear readers. Click below to keep the lights on, please. We appreciate you, most of the time.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC

Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

popular

Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc