And she looked flawless, as always.


Look, we might be beating a dead Donkey Around Town here, but did you all see Michelle Obama's speech Monday night at the DNC? Oh, other people "said words" and "talked" and whatever, like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders, but PFFFFFFFFFFFT, THE ONLY PERSON WHO TALKED LAST NIGHT WAS MICHELLE OBAMA.

Michelle has been known to give a badass speech or nine in her life, but this, we think, is her best yet. She took the piss out of Donald Trump approximately eleven-thousand times -- for instance, saying that "the issues a president faces are not black-and-white and cannot be boiled down to 140 characters." YA BURNT!

She also talked about how parenting their girls has always been Michelle and her husband's number one priority (her husband is Barry Bamz O'Kenyastan, if you forgot):

When they set off for their first day at their new school, I will never forget that winter morning as I watched our girls, just 7 and 10 years old, pile into those black SUVs with all those big men with guns.

And I saw their little faces pressed up against the window, and the only thing I could think was, what have we done?

And everybody LOLed!

But then she shifted into connecting her husbear Barry's historical presidency with the history that will be made when Hillary Clinton becomes president. Long block quote comin' atcha:

Hillary Clinton, who has the guts and the grace to keep coming back and putting those cracks in that highest and hardest glass ceiling until she finally breaks through, lifting all of us along with her.

That is the story of this country, the story that has brought me to this stage tonight, the story of generations of people who felt the lash of bondage, the shame of servitude, the sting of segregation, but who kept on striving and hoping and doing what needed to be done so that today I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves.

And I watch my daughters, two beautiful, intelligent, black young women playing with their dogs on the White House lawn.

And because of Hillary Clinton, my daughters and all our sons and daughters now take for granted that a woman can be president of the United States.

So, look, so don’t let anyone ever tell you that this country isn’t great, that somehow we need to make it great again. Because this right now is the greatest country on earth!

And then she dropped the mic and Donald Trump was vanquished forever, by Michelle Obama, and the choir said "AMEN."

Here is the whole speech. You watch it, you save it on your Obamaphone, you bury it in a fucking time capsule so all future generations can see what a great time it was to be alive when this lady was our FIRST lady:

Can't wait to see what the remix of this speech sounds like, when Melania Trump delivers it next week.

[transcript via Buzzfeed]

 

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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