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Here's Your God-Forsaken '50 Most Beautiful' List

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Absolutely nothing of note is happening in politics today, and it's sort of hard to blog about nothing. But itis possible, by some sort of mathematical anomaly, to blog about less than nothing, so here we go! The Hill, you see, finds some people more attractive than other people, physically! And so every year it compiles a ranking of this opinion! And also please strike us down now, ye vengeful gods!


We can't even bring ourselves to mention anyone on this fucking list. It is just such a terrible and boring exercise, this list. And then these people pose for photos for this thing? Jesus Christ.

“I eat wherever the event is. If you would see my cupboard, there’s Raisin Bran and peanut butter,” she says with a laugh. “I’m not kidding.”

Oh God! Oh God! We glanced at it for a second! Aaaaaaargh.

The modern Internet has completely taken away the novelty of listicles, as this is the only thing the Internet can do these days: Trivially rank things. It is just too much effort to care. It is also too much effort to make a joke asking where an obese and/or old person is ranked. So let us just say that we hope Robert Byrd's corpse cracked the top ten.

Can Rand Paul please just question Sharron Angle's patriotism? SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST DO SOMETHING THAT IS MORE THAN NOTHING. [The Hill]

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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