Here's Your Last Debate Liveblog, Ever, Part IV
Well hey people, this is the last liveblog of a debate -- the number is actually 50, no joke -- in this election season. This has been a complete abortion of time. Ours, yours, God's, ACORN's. Remember Mike Gravel yelling at Joe Biden and really everyone else in that debate last April, which was 40 years ago? Well, that was actually in this SAME ELECTION CYCLE, and now it's over forever because of the Economy, here's a send-off into the hobo space jungle. And now we wait for the day...
10:00 -- McCain's health plan: make less fatties.
10:01 -- HAHAHAHHA here comes Joe the Cummer again, John McCain wants to help Joe the Cummer have more employees, for cumming.
10:01 -- Oh wow, Barack Obama says Joe the Cummer will have to pay ZERO in penalties if he doesn't offer his employees health care. McCain stares at him like, "ZERO DOLLARS, HENNGHHHH?" And Obama says yes, because my plan excludes penalties on small businesses, such as professional cumming.
10:03 -- McCain: "Hey Joe, you're rich, HENNGHH, congrats, now Black Beauty over here wants to, uh, spread your wealth around, HENNGHH?" Has John McCain ever heard of a progressive tax system, which is what we have and what everyone has? Maybe everyone should pay zero taxes! Then we can just, uh, save America that way, with the no tax thing. HENNGHHHH?
10:05 -- Joe the Cummer is cumming so much now, with all the attention he's getting! His name is Rich Lowry, and he is the plumber of the toilet that is the National Review.
10:08 -- Look everyone, it's Joe the Plumber, we found him on a porn site for donkeys:
10:09 -- John McCain would hire LITERALLY FUCKING ANYONE to the Supreme Court, no Litmus Tests for liberals, but he wouldn't, uh... maybe... eh... well it's a tough question... carry the zero... he would half-nominate someone who may have supported Roe v. Wade ever or never.
10:11 -- Joe the Plumber, we found his website -- traffic must be SKYROCKETING.
10:12 -- McCain was born as a failed abortion, McCain says about himself. Would've worked better nowadays, but back then abortions were done with onions and a lot of them failed.
10:13 -- Obama voted present for killing babies and such, why would he do that?
10:14 -- Obama: When I voted present that was really a SECRET MAGICAL UNICORN VOTE for actual global peace and happiness, so fuck you Senator McCain.
10:15 -- McCain: When the black talks about provisions for "saving the mother's life" for opposing abortion bans, he doesn't understand that all women are dumb sluts.
10:16 -- LAST QUESTION OMG we're so early no?
10:18 -- It is about education. Eh. Higher education. Obama talks about his thing to give college kids money if they put Country First. Screw college. More people have college degrees now than ever, and look how that's worked out. Our biggest achievement in the last ten years has been credit default swaps.
10:20 -- McCain wants to BUS THE BLACKS into white neighborhoods with their fancy gay vouchers! Now who does that help? Hitler. It helps Adolf Hitler.
10:22 -- Fixy the educations, fixy fixy fixy. What does Joe the Plumber want to do about want to do about vouchers? He doesn't want to pay the Obama "Money Tax," alright!
10:24 -- McCain explains how vouchers helped the Washington D.C. school system. You remember that, and how it
fucking was worthless saved America, don't you Senator Obama?
10:25 -- Obama says no vouchers bitch.
10:26 -- McCain: "You listening to this idiot, HENNGHH?"
10:27 -- Important Closing Statements. McCain spits his poo first.
10:28 -- McCain: We have to fix all of this country's problem. I recommend Joe the Plumber to fix them, we'll write up a contract. But My Friends, Joe the Cummer, Plumber, needs a new caulk gun for his cumming. And he can't do that with the Obama Money Tax. Fuck all this shit. Bye.
10:30 -- Obama: We have to invest, baby, invest. Invest in money. Invest in the various taxes. It's not going to be easy. Now watch me slam-jam this trash can on old Schieffer's head. [Does so]. Look, look at how stupid Schieffer looks now. Bye.
10:31 -- Bob Schieffer tells everyone that his mom is making him vote.
10:32 -- McCain tells Obama "good job." Meh. This is over. Bye kids!