Herman Cain Bravely Quits Campaign For White House

Dumbo grabass Herman Cain has "effectively quit" his hilarious presidential campaign. With Jon Huntsman and Ron Paul refusing to take part in the War On Xmas/Donald Trump clown show, Herman's departure is greatly endangering 2012's comedy potential. 999 4EVR!

The New York Times reports on this tragedy:

An unapologetic and defiant Herman Cain suspended his presidential campaign on Saturday, pledging that he “would not go away” even as he abandoned hope of winning the Republican nomination in the face of escalating accusations of sexual misconduct.

“As of today, with a lot of prayer and soul searching, I am suspending my presidential campaign,” Mr. Cain said at a rally here, surrounded by supporters chanting his name. “Because of the continued distractions, the continued hurt caused on me and my family, not because we are not fighters. Not because I’m not a fighter.”

So you may look like a lover, but you're a fighter? Sorry, you are still guilty of practicing your love too much, Herman. Godfathers of crappy pizza are fine in America. Godfathers of Love? Not so much.

But he will not be silenced! Cain announced that he would start, uh, a new website. Will it be better than his new website yesterday, with the clip-art ladies? [NYT/CBS NEWS]


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