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Donald Trump announced on Twitter this afternoon that one of his choices for the Federal Reserve Board, pizza human and Pokemon enthusiast Herman Cain, has noped right out of contention for the position. Too bad! Cain, the sexually harassy former CEO of Godfather's Pizza, hasn't said why he changed his mind after vowing last week to walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain and do anything he could to keep Donald Trump happy with monetary policy. But don't worry -- this is the Trump administration, which never gives up on a bad idea, so just wait a few months and we'll be hearing about Herman Cain, Secretary of the Space Force or some damn thing.

Trump, for his part, was far more gracious to Cain for not taking a job in his administration than he is toward two thirds of those he actually appoints:


Stands to reason Trump would call the handsy stupid millionaire who was proudly ignorant of foreign places a "truly wonderful man." The not-quite nomination was doomed when four Republican senators announced they would oppose Cain's confirmation.

Still, Cain made all sorts of noises about soldiering on, at least last week, when he told the Wall Street Journal he was "very committed" to the confirmation fight. He even wrote an op-ed for the Journal in which he argued the Fed board has too many damned educated people on it, arguing it was time to end "the professor standard" for membership on the Federal Reserve:

The Fed still operates on the "professor standard," enshrined with Bill Clinton's nominations of pure academics. Their textbooks say strong economic growth, particularly strong wage growth, causes inflation, which Fed policy should temper. Both the Bush and Obama administrations perpetuated the professor standard, and both presided over income stagnation.

That's also sort of like, nuts, because while Yr Dok Zoom is no Agronomist, even I know that curbing inflation has been the Fed's raisin d'eternity since forever. Still, Cain said what America really needs is a dollar that is strong like bull, and who better to deliver that than a close personal friend of Donald Trump?

"The professor standard will not challenge itself — that much has been proved," he explained, because professors only like other professors. "That's why my voice is needed at the Fed." He has a point: No one would ever call him professorial, or even necessarily sentient. (Also, he seems not to have noted just how much backstabbing is involved in academia.)

The New York Times points out that Cain wasn't altogether without a nice-looking line on his vita: "Mr. Cain is a former businessman and director of the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City[.]" Trump probably thought that was quite the big deal, although it turns out that was "an advisory position that largely involves linking the regional Fed bank to the business community."

The Times also points out Cain has had an awfully flexible set of opinions about monetary policy, particularly

his shifting views on interest rates, which Mr. Cain said should be higher under President Barack Obama, when the nation was struggling to recover from the 2008 financial crisis, but now says should stay low under Mr. Trump, when the economy is growing.

In any case, now Herman Cain will have to wait a while for his next grifty comeback, and we can look forward to learning even more embarrassing news about Trump's other Fed pick, TV pretend-economics expert Stephen Moore. Poor lad has had a heck of a time lately, what with having an IRS lien against him for $75,000 in unpaid income taxes, and also having been held in contempt of court for failing to pay his ex wife over $300,000 in alimony, child support and other money in a divorce settlement. It's the sort of minor oversight anyone could make, can't see why anyone would have a problem with financial policy being set by a deadbeat. God, you people are so picky.

It is now your open thread!

[NYT / CNBC / Guardian / Headline pun stoled from Erich Rauchway on Twitter]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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