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Hero Minnesotans Protest General Mills For Hating Straight Marriage, Call For Death To Gays

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Thesenice protesters went to Betty Crocker Drive in Golden Valley, Minnesota, to throw all their Wheaties and Cheerios and Bisquick and Gogurt and Hamburger Helper and Pillsbury Crescent Rolls and Gold Medal flour and La Saltena spaghetti right in the face of stupid old General Mills, by collecting all General Mills' products from their own kitchens and donating them to a food bank. Why the unexpected outbreak of Christian charity? Because General Mills stomped its giant foot down and interfered against the heroic fight to save heterosexual marriage from icky gays who should be put to death, when the company said, "hey, we think it's important that Minnesota be inclusive and welcoming." Judging by that statement, General Mills probably doesn't even think that we should put homosexuals to death! We bet we know one group that no longer thinks corporations are people!


Disgusting counter-protesters across the street included some stupid straight couple that claimed their 43-year marriage had not at all been attacked by gays and who should probably read their Bible. That's where, the group Minnesota for Marriage helpfully explains on its Facebook page, it says gays should be put to death and their blood will be on their own heads. Everybody, let's hear it for Minnesota Nice! Also, some dude from corporate came out and offered the protesters coffee, but they stood their ground and said they would just donate that to the food bank too, and also fuck you.

[TruthWinsOut/GoodAsYou]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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