Shorter Raphael Warnock: No Phone-A-Friends, Herschel Walker, What Are Your Kids' Names?

Herschel Walker wants to challenge Raphael Warnock to a father-of-the-year contest? LOL.

Stop us if you've heard this one before: Herschel Walker is out on the campaign trail saying Raphael Warnock is bad and needs to learn to "keep his kids." That's right, Herschel Walker wants to talk about Raphael Warnock's parenting. You betcha.

We are indeed talking about old BrokenBrain McPaysForAbortions, whose son Christian has publicly turned on him. Another one of his children, whom he's reportedly only met a handful of times, asked him over text on October 13, “What’s my favorite color? What grade am I in? And how old am I."

 Listen to this shit:  

“Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker (R) criticizes Sen. Raphael Warnock's (D) parenting: "He paid himself for childcare, all that stuff — why don't he keep his own kids? Don't have nobody keep your kids. ... I keep my own, even though he lied about me."”

— The Recount (@The Recount) 1668449712 

It's always entirely possible we are interpreting Herschel Walker's words incorrectly, since they are not arranged in any way intelligible to English-speaking humans:

WALKER: And then he paid himself a childcare, all that stuff, why don't he keep his own kids? Don't have nobody keep your kids, you keep your kids, he's got somebody else keepin' 'em, I keep my own, even though he's lyin' about me, but it's OK! It's OK because he's trying to get your vote, don't let him trick you tryin' to get your vote.

'Kay. Those are words.

Senator Reverend Raphael Warnock felt the need to respond to this. Warnock says Walker "crossed a line." Of course, he used the opportunity to point out a whole fucking buttload of things about Herschel Walker AKA the thing that's left after the Acme anvil falls on somebody's head on "Looney Tunes."

"I know that politics is ugly. People play all kinds of games, unfortunately. But Herschel Walker and his allies have crossed a line where my family is concerned," Warnock said in an interview.

"I want to set the record straight. My children live with me. I am present with my children in every way that a father should be, from breakfast in the morning to bedtime prayers at night. I can't continue to let him lie about our family." [...]

The Democrat said that Walker's "hypocrisy is almost too much to bear."

"To say that he lacks self-awareness is an understatement.We have only learned about most of his children during this race," Warnock said."There are two men in this campaign. One has been missing in action for his family — and that person is not me."

Emphasis ours. We don't reckon there's anything else to say about that.

So that was a good response about Walker's apparent inability to pick his own kids out of a lineup, but can Warnock respond to these hard truths from Walker about gas-guzzling cars?

“Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker (R): "If we was ready for the green agenda, I'd raise my hand right now. But we're not ready right now ... What we need to do is keep having those gas-guzzling cars, 'cause we got the good emissions under those cars."”

— The Recount (@The Recount) 1668449021 

"I can promise you, Iran, Russia, they're not tryin' to talk about chargin' a tank out there in the desert, they're talkin' about war. And let me tell you this either!

“If we was ready for the green agenda, I’d raise my hand right now. But we’re not ready right now. So don’t let them fool you like this is a new agenda. This is not a new agenda.

“We’re not prepared. We’re not ready right now. What we need to do is keep havin' those gas-guzzling cars, ’cause we got the good emissions under those cars.

“We’re doing the best thing that we can. We need help. Those other people not helping us. China not helping us. India not helping us. But yeah we're gonna do it all 'cause they're spendin' your money."

We got the good emissions under those cars, OK? We need to keep havin' those gas-guzzling cars! Because Iran and Russia are not chargin' a tank in the desert! Don't let them fool you!

You know, even if the words Herschel Walker made with his facehole were transmitted from his injured brain in something resembling sentence form, it's kind of remarkable that his Republican message here is basically "America: WE'RE NOT READY!"

If you haven't done something today to help Raphael Warnock kick this loser's ass in the runoff, now's the time.

[ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution / h/t JoeMyGod ]

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