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In a totally sane and not at all horrifying speech at the "Values Voter Summit" last weekend, Trump gave us all a stark reminder of who he is: a narcissistic blowhard who has no self-control or respect for the rule of law or the US Constitution.

Trump rambled incoherently to the assembled bigots for over an hour, about everything from the injustices done to Kegstand Kavanaugh for something as minor as attempting to rape a young woman, to how he's totally right to let Turkey commit a bunch of war crimes against our Kurdish allies. And in the middle, he ranted for a while about wanting to sue Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff for having the gall to investigate his treason, even though the Constitution pretty clearly says he can't do that.

2019:


The "Values Voter Summit" is exactly what you think it is: an annual gathering hosted by the Family Research Council where people get together to celebrate the fact that religious beliefs mandate they vote for people who hate women, gays, people of color, and basically everyone who doesn't go to a whites only evangelical church. So of course Trump was there.

Trump basically gave his stump speech to the assembled crowd, albeit with a little extra dumbfuckness thrown in. Because who doesn't love a little verbal diarrhea every once in a while?

On every front, the ultra-left is waging war on the values shared by everyone in this room ... They are trying to use the courts to rewrite the laws, undermine democracy, and force through an agenda they cannot pass at the ballot box

Oh look, Trump is doing that thing again where he accuses other people of doing exactly what he's doing.

Using courts to rewrite the law?

Check.

Undermining democracy?

Definitely check.

Forcing an agenda he can't pass at the ballot box on the American people?

Check again.

But don't take my word for it. Let's see what Trump himself had to say about how he intends to continue to abuse the legal system:

[Schiff] made up a conversation. And it was vicious, what he said.

And then we caught him. And I said, "He has to pay a big price." And they said, "Sir, he has total immunity because he was in the great chamber, talking to congressmen, talking to the American public, lying and cheating, and there's supposed to be nothing we can do about it." But he also went outside and, as usual, he talked to the press, and he said a lot of what he said to the press. So we're going to take a look at it. We are going after these people. These are bad, bad people.

So Trump wants to sue congressmen for doing their jobs. Because investigating the president's treasoning apparently makes members of Congress "bad people."

Cool.

Good thing there's not a constitutional provision explicitly saying he can't do that.

Oh, wait. There is. It's Article I, Section 6, Clause 1 of the US Constitution.

This crooked Adam Schiff made a statement — long, beautiful statement — and it was a fraud. He repeated my call, but it wasn't me. He made it so bad.

Apparently Trump has spent a lot of time thinking about Schiff's "long, beautiful," umm, statement.

And can someone tell the president that it was, in fact, him on the call? Here's the transcript his White House released.

Side note: Here is how the Ukraine treason call is labeled on whitehouse.gov.

So that's normal.

Trump continued:

And I said, "Oh, I'm going to go after him." They say, "Sir…" They say, "Sir, he has immunity because he said it in Congress. He has immunity." I say, "I don't care about immunity. He can't have immunity; he made up a phone call."

Okay. There's a lot to unpack, here.

Schiff has immunity. It's in the Constitution. Even assuming for a second that Adam Schiff had, in fact, "made up a phone call," he would still be immune from being sued over his official duties as a member of Congress. There is no exception to constitutional immunity for the high crime of "making up a phone call."

Also, Schiff didn't make up the phone call. Again, here's the transcript. Your White House released it.

We're going to take a look at it. We're going after these people. These are bad, bad people

Have fun taking a look at violating the Constitution yet again, I guess?

I told my lawyers, I said, "Sue him anyway." He's got immunity, but they can't mean immunity for that.

Actually, that's exactly what "they" mean, if by "they," you mean the US Constitution. In fact, I'd say a rogue executive who wants to throw his political opponents in prison is exactly what the Framers intended when they put the Speech or Debate Clause in Article I.

I said, "Sue him anyway. Even if we lose, the American public will understand"

Yes, we will understand that the president is a fucking lunatic who has no respect for government institutions, the Constitution, or the rule of law.

Actually, we all already know that. Carry on.

And sue Nancy Pelosi.

Okay, sure.

Or maybe we should just impeach them.

Not a thing.

Members of Congress cannot be impeached. Each house of the legislature can punish its own members. But impeaching congressmen is not a thing.

Because they're lying and what they're doing is a terrible thing for our country.

Once again, I'm pretty sure that's you.

Be right back, I need to go take a cold shower before me head fucking explodes.

Everything is bad

Honestly, the entire thing was awful. Just like this year. If you feel like torturing yourself, you can watch the entire speech, in all its glory, here:

Watch live: President Trump delivers remarks at the Values Voter Summit

We would suggest turning it into a drinking game, except any rule we could come up with, like "drink every time Trump looks punchable," would likely result in a quick trip to the emergency room.

Look. It's always fun to laugh at Trump's ridiculous outbursts, but all of this is SO BAD for our country. Trump has normalized lying, propaganda, and abusing our governmental system while ignoring checks and balances. We're lucky that this administration's malevolence is matched only by its incompetence, or things would be a lot worse than they already are.

TL;DR

Trump is dumb and everything is bad.

[Transcript / Video]

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Jamie Lynn Crofts
Jamie Lynn Crofts is sick of your bullshit. When she’s not wrangling cats, she’s probably writing about nerdy legal stuff, rocking out at karaoke, or tweeting about god knows what. Jamie would kindly like to remind everyone that it’s perfectly legal to tell Bob Murray to eat shit.
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