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Hey Christians, Here Is How McCain Wants To Defile Your Christian Wives

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We told you how John McCain offered up his "old lady" to the biker mob at Sturgis, and then we showed you the awkward video, but now we must present this version, which begins with the incredible confession from McCain that he's only allowed onstage as a warm-up midget for Kid Rock.

And then there's some Semi-Safe For Work but not Safe For Civilization video from earlier "Miss Buffalo Chip" contests. Even though it was McCain's "first time" at the suburbanite fake-Outlaw Biker rally of Contractors, CostCo Managers and Chiropractors on their $10,000 "hogs," he knew the Beauty Contest was all about naked drunk ladies fellating bananas.

What's going through Cindy's mind during this awful scene? And what's going through her daughter's mind, if anything? As the helpful captions show, the only audible thing the faux-biker scum can be heard screaming (to John) is "Show Us Your Tits!" (That is the name of every Kid Rock album, all released on this day in 1996.)

Remember when we were embarrassed for Bill Clinton? He almost looks classy now, doesn't he?

John Mccain Offers His Wife for Sleazy Biker Bikini Contest [DoubleTalk Express]

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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