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LOVE THE SMELL OF OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE IN THE MORNING! President Fuckbonkers passed a therapeutic Executive Time scream tweeting abuse at Michael Cohen and praising Roger Stone for refusing to testify to the grand jury. How long before he starts straight up tweeting out pardons?

Speaking of "guts," did Trump just shit his pants in fear? Did someone finally tell him that, once he leaves office, he can be prosecuted for all the obstruction of justice, witness tampering, and perjury he committed as president? Because that Tweet right there would be prime facie witness tampering. As in, that is a crime ON ITS FACE.


Right Kellyanne's husband?

Why yes, he is referring to federal witness tampering statutes.

It's not even the first time in the past week the president has announced his intention to break all the laws. Trump sat down on Wednesday with the New York Post to tell them about all the obstruction of justice he plans to do when Democrats take back the House in November.

"If they go down the presidential harassment track, if they want go and harass the president and the administration, I think that would be the best thing that would happen to me. I'm a counter-puncher and I will hit them so hard they'd never been hit like that," he said during a 36-minute Oval Office sitdown.

The commander-in-chief said he could declassify FISA warrant applications and other documents from Robert Mueller's probe — and predicted the disclosure would expose the FBI, the Justice Department and the Clinton campaign as being in cahoots to set him up.

And, hey bonus, it will even goose his reelection campaign. KA-CHING! Because when you're weaponizing the declassification process to hurt your political enemies, timing is everything.

"I think that would help my campaign. If they want to play tough, I will do it. They will see how devastating those pages are."

But Trump told The Post he wanted to save the documents until they were needed. "It's much more powerful if I do it then," Trump said, "because if we had done it already, it would already be yesterday's news."

Also, EMMET FLOOD, CALL YOUR LAWYER.

Trump added Wednesday that his lawyer Emmet Flood thought it would be better politically to wait.

"He didn't want me to do it yet, because I can save it," Trump said.

A formerly respected lawyer who works in the White House is counseling the president on when to declassify FISA documents so they'll have maximum political effect? Wow, that's not very cool. Nor is it very legal. And whatever privilege (attorney-client, executive, deliberative process) might once have attached, it's likely waived because your client discussed it publicly. So enjoy splaining to the House Judiciary Committee how an officer of the court came to advise his client on how best to break the law to benefit his own campaign. Mazal Tov!

Law nerds may note that the Justice Department is also furiously backpedaling on Trump's dump tweets as well. Several media organizations have filed suit to get access to the unredacted Carter Page FISA documents, reasoning that the president's constant tweeting about them and ordering their declassification as he did in September (right after Manafort flipped, coincidentally) means that they are no longer classified.

Which forces the DOJ into the awkward position of having to assert that Commander Dumbass doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

The President's quotation of media reporting cannot be assumed to be his confirmation of the media reporting based on government information, and it is not evidence of government misconduct in this case. See James Madison Project, 302 F. Supp. 3d at 34 ("the President's statements may very well be based on media reports or his own personal knowledge, or could simply be viewed as political statements intended to counter media accounts about the Russia investigation, rather than assertions of pure fact."

Also, too, pay no attention to the fact that the leader of the free world live-tweets Fox. LOL, it's better that he should park his ass on the couch than to actually govern, right?

Plaintiffs ignore the opening quotation mark included in the tweet, as well as the President's reference to himself in the third person, and assume this is a statement directly from the President. In fact, it appears to be a (partially condensed) quotation from Tom Fitton of Judicial Watch, who was simultaneously appearing on television that morning to promote further declassification of the documents (and its lawsuit seeking these documents). [Citation omitted] The President's quotation of media reporting cannot be assumed to be his confirmation of the media reporting based on government information, and it is not evidence of government misconduct in this case.

In sum, the Justice Department argues that Donald Trump is a giant fucking idiot who is totally full of shit, so nothing he says can have any legal effect, criminal, civil, or otherwise. AND THEY'RE HALF RIGHT ABOUT THAT.

[New York Post / DOJ Opposition Memorandum]

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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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The producers of your favorite live-action Jack Chick pamphlet, "God's Not Dead" -- you know, the one where the Hercules dude plays an evil philosophy professor who tells all of his students on the first day that they are no longer allowed to believe in god? As all secular professors do? -- have come out with a thrilling new movie, all about how abortion is bad or whatever.

The movie tells the "true" story of Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic worker turned professional anti-choicer. Johnson has been a darling of the forced birth circuit ever since she made up ridiculous and provably false reasons for quitting the Planned Parenthood that was about to fire her for being bad at her job.

Basically, she claims that Planned Parenthood was pushing her to make more abortions happen so they could reel in more dough, and also that she witnessed (for the first time ever!) an ultrasound-guided abortion and saw the baby move from the light and then immediately realized that what she was doing was wrong.

The thing is, however -- no ultrasound-guided abortions were performed on the day she said it happened, and the only reason there was an uptick in abortions at her clinic was because they started offering the abortion pill on a daily basis (and had previously only been performing surgical abortions every other Saturday).

As you may have guessed, the movie does not address any of these things. It also looks very, very bad.

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Ever since Ruth Bader Ginsburg successfully underwent surgery for lung cancer, conservative sites and message boards have been trafficking in a ridiculous theory that she is actually dead and that there is some kind of Weekend at Bernie's-esque conspiracy to pretend she is still alive.

Now, one would think that her recent public appearance at a concert held in her honor would have put this to rest. Alas, it did not. Rather, the "researchers" (as they hilariously call themselves) determined that the concert was actually her funeral.

No. Really. That was a thing.

I admit that I gave this a lot more thought than I should have. Like, how did they think this would go? How long did they imagine this would go on for? Why would they risk having a full on funeral concert, open to the press? Wouldn't they just have not bothered to have a funeral at all? And what did these people think was going to happen when it was announced that she died for real? Or did they think that we were going to pretend that she is immortal and thus never announce her death? It's so confusing!

Being very up to date on the "RBG is secretly dead!" nonsense, I was very curious about which way the "anons" would go with this when they announced her return to work on Friday. They did not disappoint!

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