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You'd think that by now, there'd be a memo to all minor Republican officials reminding them to avoid saying really stupid things on the internet. Happily for Yr Wonkette, there's either no such memo, or Debbie Dunnegan, the recorder of deeds for Jefferson County, Missouri, never read it. And she just can't understand why anyone would be upset over a little old message that she posted to Facebook:


I have a question for all my friends who have served or are currently serving in our military...having not put on a uniform nor taken any type military oath, there has to be something that I am just not aware of. But I cannot and do not understand why no action is being taken against our domestic enemy. I know he is supposedly the commander in chief but the constitution gives you the authority. What am I missing? Thank you for your bravery and may God keep you safe.

For heaven's sake, it was just a question about taking military action against one sworn enemy of the United States, its twice-elected president and "supposed" commander in chief. It's not like she was calling on them to overthrow the entire government. Why are people getting so het up about that?

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch even gave her the benefit of the doubt, saying that "some are interpreting [the message] as an attack on President Barack Obama." And some others, apparently, are not. These people are members of the complete fucking moron community.

But Dunnegan explained that, no, she wasn't actually calling for a coup. She was just asking a question about the details of the military oath and what exactly it means when it says "all enemies foreign and domestic."

"I meant no ill intent toward the president," said Dunnegan. "I meant no ill intent toward anybody."

Because when you openly state that the POTUS is an enemy of the United States, and assert that the Constitution gives the military the authority to remove a commander in chief if he's The Enemy -- a power embedded, surprisingly enough, in a creative reading of the Third Amendment -- you aren't expressing any "ill will." Instead, says Dunnegan, her innocent little question about military oaths and how they relate to removing The Enemy in our midst just got twisted into some kind of call for a coup. Imagine that!

Also, she knows the real reason people are making such a big deal out of nothing. She's up for re-election, and you know how people can be, just overreacting to any little thing as if it were a public call for the military to take action against our domestic enemy in the White House.

"Something innocent and simple got twisted into a disaster because it’s an election," she said. Just for the sake of helping out Ms. Dunnegan, the nice folks at Crooks And Liars looked up the oaths of enlistment, which it turns out is available on the internet, just like Facebook! They even bolded a part that she may want to familiarize herself with:

"I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God." (Title 10, US Code; Act of 5 May 1960 replacing the wording first adopted in 1789, with amendment effective 5 October 1962).

OK, but if he's a Kenyan Usurper, he's not really the president, and how does this even resolve her dilemma?

[St. Louis Post-Dispatch via Crooks And Liars]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to www.famoushotels.org.

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.



In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

Yr Wonkette is entirely supported by donations from you, the reader. Please send us money so socialists won't make us take the stairs.

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