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Funny thing happened this week: The lawyer we hired to negotiate the $5,000 bill for three photo copyright violations (including one of Herman Cain that goes back to the last Wonkette era) got the bill down to $2,000, then charged us $2,000! Maybe more. He hasn't added up his surely dozen hours in December yet. You know those hilarious statistics about "could you withstand a $500 emergency" and half the country just lies down on the floor and DIES with laughter, and also starvation? Well, Wonkette doesn't have a spare $4,000 in a month. In fact, Wonkette is in the hole about $20,000 for the year, and honestly, I'm fucking pissed. And I'm not sure Dok and Evan and Five Dollar Feminist, who have been bearing the brunt of me, like it too much either!

Nobody (with a vag) is asking for $60 million in VC funding to blow through, or even $6 million. That's for Mic and The Outline and other news sites from men. (Then they lay off their entire editorial staffs because who can even run a news site on that???) But it would be really fucking nice if our just under 400,000 readers a month -- a good-sized city! a very small-sized state! -- were able to support an independent, ad-free news site with a full-time staff of THREE FUCKING PROFESSIONALS, plus three part-time, plus good freelance, while I'm working 55 hours a week LOOKING AT TRUMP'S FACE. In November, .8 percent of our readers donated to keep us going -- that's point-eight, not eight -- and god knows I love them and they are the greatest, but they shouldn't have to do it all.

YOU love Wonkette. You love that it is AD-FREE and DOESN'T BREAK YOUR BROWSER. You love that Dok does actual important policy, and Five Dollar Feminist splains law at you, and Robyn and Stephen and Bianca and Dom keep you up to date on all the terrible things without making you cry hardly ever, and Evan is here to insult Junior's face.

If you've been meaning to throw us some cash but just haven't gotten around to it, for fuck's sake, GO GET YOUR FUCKING CREDIT CARD because I AM FUCKING DYING HERE. Better yet, sign up to keep giving it, every month. Even if it's fucking $2. Imagine if two percent of you started sending us money! Imagine if it was FUCKING FIVE! Imagine if you were sending us a HUNDRED AND EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS A MONTH to put up one podcast a week calling Democrats moneygrubbing capitalists! Just kidding, I don't want that and those guys suck.

Also, I am pretty sure I'm soon going to be on the rag. ALSO also, I'm having butt surgery next week, but you guys DO pay 100 percent of our medical, so yay, thank you, I love you, you're good. (See, I spend your money on 100 percent medical for the staff because of what a neoliberal I am. I SURE FUCKING WISH I COULD HIRE ALL OF THEM, DON'T YOU.)

Happy fucking Christmas, everything is terrible and I want to cry. But at least Mueller should be up soon, and Evan's gonna tap-dance (with votes!) all over Trump's noggin, and I am going to have this drink, which isn't going to drink itself, something something Trump Junior's face.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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On Saturday, Glenn Greenwald saw a story in the New York Times about how the US is mucking around in Russia's power grid in a show of power:

In interviews over the past three months, [current and former US] officials described the previously unreported deployment of American computer code inside Russia's grid and other targets as a classified companion to more publicly discussed action directed at Moscow's disinformation and hacking units around the 2018 midterm elections.

So Glenn Greenwald, being a total Glenn Greenwald, used that moment to defend his president, Donald J. Trump, because OMG it is just crazy that the liberals and the Deep State and the Rachel Maddow think Trump is some kind of puppet of Vladimir Putin, just because he constantly acts like a puppet of Vladimir Putin.

HAW HAW, LIBS OWNED! Isn't Donald Trump always saying nobody's tougher on Russia than he is? Glenn Greenwald agrees that nobody is tougher on Russia than Donald Trump, because Donald Trump says so.

As Aaron Rupar from Vox points out, this tweet from Donald Trump arrived just about eight hours later ...

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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