HHS Loon Michael Caputo Taking Leave To Spend More Time With His Mental Health, If Any

Sometimes documenting the Trump administration's daily assault on all that is good and decent and orderly and truthful can seem like a thankless task. Does it even make any difference how loud we scream when these fuckers get away with it all anyway?

Well, today, the answer is ... YES!

The Department of Health and Human Services just announced that spokeswacko Michael Caputo, who spent last weekend on Facebook Live ranting about plots to murder him and warning Trump's supporters to stockpile arms for the coming revolution, is taking personal leave to spend more time with his exorcista pound of China white his family.

"Today, the Department of Health and Human Services is announcing that HHS Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs Michael Caputo has decided to take a leave of absence to focus on his health and the well-being of his family," HHS announced.

And he's taking his little dog Toto, too!

"Dr. Paul Alexander, Senior Policy Advisor to the Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs, was hired to engage with the Department on a temporary basis," the announcement continued. "Dr. Alexander will be leaving the department."

Don't let the doorknob hitya where the good Lord splitya!

Caputo, a Russia-loving GOP hack who seems to have gotten (even more) radicalized from the stress of finding himself ass-deep in the Mueller investigation, was installed at HHS in April to keep those dirty, Deep State eggheads on-message during the coronavirus pandemic. So he enlisted the help of Dr. Paul Alexander, a part-time, assistant professor of health research methods at a Canadian university, to make sure that bad news about "science" and "public health" didn't dent the president's reelection prospects.

Alexander was tasked with vetting all comms and nixing anything too gloomy.

"Can you ensure Dr. Fauci indicates masks are for the teachers in schools. Not for children," Alexander wrote in an internal email last week that immediately leaked to Politico. "There is no data, none, zero, across the entire world, that shows children especially young children, spread this virus to other children, or to adults or to their teachers. None. And if it did occur, the risk is essentially zero."


On August 27, he wrote, "I continue to have an issue with kids getting tested and repeatedly and even university students in a widespread manner…and I disagree with Dr. Fauci on this. Vehemently."

Back in June, Alexander excoriated the CDC for "undermining the President" by issuing a report that discussed the dangers of COVID-19 for pregnant women because it "reads in a way to frighten women . . . as if the President and his administration can't fix this and it is getting worse."

Ain't he a peach?

Caputo and Alexander have been accused of waging a campaign to downplay the danger of coronavirus and deprive Americans of reliable scientific information, going so far as to interfere in the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Reports which are intended to offer doctors the most accurate, up-to-date information. According to Politico, Caputo held up a report on the inefficacy of hydroxychloroquine for a month to interrogate the author's political leanings.

Caputo and Alexander accused scientists of deliberately trying to harm the president with their damned data.

"Buried in this good [CDC] work are sometimes stories which seem to purposefully mislead and undermine the President's Covid response with what some scientists label as poor scholarship — and others call politics disguised in science," Caputo told Politico.

"CDC to me appears to be writing hit pieces on the administration," appointee Paul Alexander wrote in an August 7 email demanding that the agency retract two already published pieces because they contradicted Trump's pronouncements that opening schools would involve no health risks. "CDC tried to report as if once kids get together, there will be spread and this will impact school re-opening . . . Very misleading by CDC and shame on them. Their aim is clear."

Ten days of seeing his agency's internal emails published at Politico — and the universal condemnation they engendered — seems to have driven Caputo past his breaking point, as he took to social media to announce that his "mental health has definitely failed."

"You understand that they're going to have to kill me, and unfortunately, I think that's where this is going," he said, adding later that "when Donald Trump refuses to stand down at the inauguration, the shooting will begin." Caputo hinted darkly that Trump's supporters should stock up on guns and ammo for the coming conflagration with "hit squads being trained all over this country." Totes normal!

But Caputo vowed to stay in his post and fight, with Dr. Alexander by his side.

"What they've done, by coming after [Alexander], is made him permanent," Caputo ranted Sunday. "I'm not letting Paul Alexander go."

We shall never give up! We shall never surrender! We shall ... oh, NM.

"After consultation with President Trump and Secretary Azar, I have decided to take a temporary medical leave of absence to pursue necessary screenings for a lymphatic issue discovered last week," he said today.


Bless his crazy little heart. And his, uh, lymphatics.


Follow Liz Dye on Twitter RIGHT HERE!

Please click here to support your Wonkette. And if you're ordering your quarantine goods on Amazon, this is the link to do it.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc