Well are you, punk?

I tend to think of Wonkette's financial health as canary/coal mine for this great nation: Our income is directly proportional to how you all are doing in your own finances, and when things are going poorly in your bank account, obviously (and correctly!) the first thing to cut out is $$ for your local mommyblog. And I am guessing either your finances are bad, or they are actually FINE YOU ARE JUST INTERNALIZING THE LOCAL NEWS'S GAS HIKE SHRIEKINGS. ("Consumer sentiment" or what we in the biz call "economic glumsies.") (No we don't, but we're going to start.)

Because we haven't had a month with this little cashish in my Paypal in the past three years, which is why just about every morning I've been whining at the bottom of tabs and threatening to do a second moneybeg for the month. DID ANYBODY WANT THAT? ANYBODY DID NOT!

Wonkette is ad-free because the ad market wasn't paying jack shit anyway. And we're paywall-free for two reasons: I am never ever ever ever going to leave out the poors, and what fucking good does it do the country when Breitbart and Daily Wire are free but you have to pay for anything resembling reality? So it falls to our readers to decide yes, SOMEONE needs to pay Rebecca to pay Jamie to explain WHAT THE FUCK SUPREME COURT WISCONSIN MAPS DECISION THAT JUST CAME DOWN EVEN THOUGH JAMIE WON'T BE ABLE TO TILL MORNING AND HOW THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO WAIT TIL THEN, and if SOMEONE is at all able, and SOMEONE is not already, SOMEONE SHOULD! If you are not poor, and if you are able. We are checking in on you! Message: We care!

Sorry, some news just happened, and it is of the GOD FUCKING DAMMIT VARIETY. Give me some money. And here, have two cats.

Tallulah, a cat.

Donna, a cat.

There, we all feel ??? better.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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