Donate

Hideous $3999.95 Painting of Andrew Breitbart Actually Swiped from Video Game

News

Welcome to a very special guest post by long-time Wonkette reader "Doktor Zoom." Enjoy!

So, you know that painting by David Bugnon of Dead Guy Andrew

Breitbart as a Teutonic Knight in Heaven, ready to take on commies, liberal scumbags, and innocent Department of Agriculture employees from beyond the grave? You know, the painting that one actual professional art critic called a "masterpiece of Outsider art, a veritable holocaust-tsunami of bad taste?" The painting that Patriot Depot is selling reproductions of for the bargain price of a mere $3999.95 for a limited-edition 36″ x 48″ giclee on canvas? The painting which The Patriot Update bravely calls, "The Painting Obama Fears?" Yeah, it's not so much a painting as a Photoshop mashup of a stock photo of Andrew Breitbart and a character from the copyrighted computer game Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, with a pretty sunset-and-clouds background that probably also came from some stock photo website -- no doubt somebody will find that soon, too. (NOW WITH UPDATE BELOW!)

The similarity to the Assassin's Creed character (© 2010, Ubisoft Entertainment) was first noted by an alert commenter on Mock, Paper, Scissors, and was shortly thereafter posted to your Wonkette by new commenter "PNW_Kurt" in Sunday's Breitbart-as-a-Nordic-Knight thread; longtime Wonketeer Biel_ze_Bubba was also, as far as I can tell, the first to identify the stock image source of the soul-patched Breitbart. The discovery clears up a couple of mysteries.

For one thing, since the image is flipped, that explains why, as another Mock, Paper, Scissors reader noticed, the brave knight "buckle[s] his belts on the wrong side – like a girl." More to the point, it's finally clear why Ghost Breitbart has such tiny little T-Rex arms: While Mr. Bugnon did a pretty nifty job recoloring and embellishing parts of Ubisoft's copyrighted digital character -- the flag-themed bunting and "BREITBART" badge at the beltline are cute touches -- he didn't even come close to giving Sir Andrew of Copypaste an appropriately-proportioned head. Consider this side-by-side comparison of the two images at the top of the post, and compare the colossal Breitnoggin to the far more anatomically plausible (and copyrighted) head on the Assassin's Creed knight, which we've flipped so that you can say "OMG they're just the same."

On his Facebook page, Bugnon at least has the decency to admit that this is not a painting at all, though perhaps it's a slight stretch for him to claim that "many components of this picture were created out of nothing, like the hair, leather armor, the red cloth, belts..." without acknowledging that the basic form of the figure is swiped from someone else's original work (which, as I may have mentioned, is protected domestically and internationally by copyright).

As a conservative, Mr. Bugnon no doubt thinks that private property is a pretty big deal. Of course, as a conservative and entrepreneur, he also thinks that profit is a big deal; our own Biel_ze_Bubba points out that the cost of printing out a 36″ x 48″ giclee on canvas is only about $150. So figuring the production costs and a few hours of Bugnon's time at the computer, that's only about a 2000% markup on the big limited-edition version. Less, of course, if you factor in the licensing fees for using Ubisoft's intellectual property...surely an upstanding conservative wouldn't dream of just plagiarizing, would he?

But is this brilliant example of right-wing kitsch actually a copyright infringement? Or is it some kind of "fair use"? Beats us -- as we experienced internet types say when we want to pontificate about the law but don't want anyone to do something stupidly litigious, I ANAL (an abbreviation that seems just right at home for Our Wonkette). But regardless of whether Ubisoft's legal department sends a big fat Cease and Desist letter to David Bugnon and Patriot Depot (DO IT! DO IT!!), it seems only fitting that Andrew Breitbart, who made a career out of selectively editing bits of videotape to make other people say exactly what he wanted them to say, has been memorialized by a hacked-together Photoshop job constructed out of images sundered from their original contexts. How Po-Mo is that!

UPDATE: The Patriot Depot's page for the painting now looks like this, ha ha:

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC

Wednesday, during Sarah Huckabee Sanders's first public explosion of lies in 16 days, she gave a very unclear answer to a question from the New York Times's Maggie Haberman, which was "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" Specifically the question was about Russian reports that Putin's rogue shithole state would like to question/detain 11 Americans for their supposed "crimes" against Russia, in exchange for Russia's cooperation in letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian military intelligence officials he indicted last week for hacking our 2016 election. Putin's list of pals he would like to have for a chat starts with businessman Bill Browder, who used to be Russia's biggest foreign investor, who is actually a British citizen (LOL Russia is stupid), and who is Vladimir Putin's arch-enemy because Browder and his Russian accountant Sergei Magnitsky (whom Putin later had killed in jail) exposed massive Russian government corruption that led to the creation of "Magnitsky Acts" all over the world that sanction the ever-loving fuck out of Putin and his buddies.

Getting rid of the Magnitsky Act is Putin's number one foreign policy priority, so it's probably safe to say it's high on Donald Trump's list too. Indeed, during Trump's shameful press conference with Putin, Trump said Putin had made an "incredible offer" during their private meeting, and it was MOAR PEE HOOKERS! for the quid pro quo we described above. How sweet of Trump's KGB boss to offer to make such an Art Of The Deal with him!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

In an impressive display of fiscal restraint, House Republicans yesterday refused to fund security for election systems before this fall's midterms, because ... well, not sure, really. (Just kidding. We know why and you know why and they know you know and we know why!)

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc