This week, Bernie Sanders's campaign manager, Jeff Weaver, warned that Hillary Clinton was in danger of destroying the Democratic Party through her ambition to become president.

Hillary Clinton washes up for supper.

Hillary Clinton, because she has been warned by her media coaches (which she has because she is a phony) not to actually drink the blood of rival campaign managers while anyone is watching, replied by laughing in an unhinged and possibly drunken manner.

Hillary Clinton: too ambitious to be president in 2006, too ambitious to be president today.

"Don't destroy the Democratic Party to satisfy the secretary's ambitions to become president of the United States," Sanders campaign manager Jeff Weaver told CNN.

"We want to have a party at the end of this that we can unify," he added.


Weaver said Sanders and Clinton should generally engage in a "tough debate" on issues, but he added, "Let's not denigrate other's supporters and tear the party apart."

Funny story! Your Wonkette is officially neutral in the Democratic primary because THEY'RE BOTH FINE! THEY'RE BOTH GOOD! Shy and Dok Zoom (to my knowledge) are personally voting for Bernie. Evan and I are personally voting for Hillary. We try to be very fair! We don't like when the candidates attack each other! When Sanders wins, we give him a golf clap and a hearty hale fellow well met! When Hillary wins OH MY GOD SHE IS A CORRUPT THIEF OF CORRUPTION AND THAT IS THE ONLY WAY SHE IS WINNING IS BECAUSE SHE STEALS ALL OF THE THINGS AND OH MY GOD SHE RAISED MONEY FOR THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY DOES HER CORRUPTION KNOW NO BOUNDS?


Yes, I was dismayed to learn this week that raising money for the DNC and state parties is proof positive that Hillary Clinton is trying to steal the election ... by trying to strengthen the party so she (OR BERNIE SANDERS!) can have a Congress she (OR HE!) can work with, and state legislatures that might possibly unfuck the districts Republicans have gerrymandered so grossly this decade.

I called my aunt, a grand dame superdelegate active in Democratic politics since the 1950s. Is it AT ALL possible the Hillary Victory Fund could be an attempt to influence superdelegates' votes? My aunt screeched like a common Hillary Clinton. The short answer was no. Was it AT ALL possible I was maybe being naive? More short answer no. Was I correct in reading this as a positively Rovian smear like the Swift Boating of John Kerry, where you attack a candidate not for her weakness, but for her strength, thereby neutralizing it? Short answer: I am an insightful woman with an excellent grasp of history, or at least that was how I heard it. She may have just said "yes."

In the meantime, calls to "harass" superdelegates who are voting for Clinton have not had excellent results so far, if your aim is to persuade people to actually vote for Bernie Sanders. If your aim is actually to be an asshole, then they've got that covered.

As for denigrating candidates' supporters, I spent several hours this week fielding texts from a very close friend explaining that as a "bought and paid for" "Hillary shill" "one-percenter" "piece of shit" "centrist" "NOT A LIBERAL," I am disowned. We can be friends though if I throw the weight of Wonkette behind Bernie instead of the corrupt crook who didn't even come out for gay marriage until yesterday, and if I stop profiting off Bernie Sanders by selling these shirts, made by my loser husband, who supports Bernie but works for Wonkette, so he does not get a pass from either being a shill or being married to me:

Wouldn't you like one? Short answer yes!

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

Donate with CC

Presidential contender Kamala Harris held her first official campaign event in South Carolina, a key state in the upcoming Democratic primaries. Friday night, she spoke to a crowd of roughly 1,000 at a town hall at Royal Missionary Baptist Church in North Charleston. She reaffirmed her support for sensible gun safety laws, including universal background checks and closing the "Charleston loophole." She fielded questions from voters about how she'd address mass incarceration. Actual issues were discussed, but then she went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like eating in public.

Harris filled her tummy with Lowcountry goodness at Rodney Scott's BBQ. Later her press secretary, Ian Sams, tweeted a photo of the senator adding a hefty dollop of Texas Pete to her collard greens because she's civilized. Some chose to interpret this as "pandering." Because some are literally killing us with this.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

Last week, we started getting excerpts from fired acting FBI director Andrew McCabe's new book The Threat: How The FBI Protects America In The Age Of Terror And Trump, and we are both happy and horrified to report that his book tour continues! One of the tidbits we learned in the Washington Post review was that we have YET ANOTHER example of a time Donald Trump has shown us that he trusts Vladimir Putin more than he trusts his own intelligence community, and is probably compromised by the Russian president. Here's how the Post put it:

During an Oval Office briefing in July 2017, Trump refused to believe U.S. intelligence reports that North Korea had test-fired an intercontinental ballistic missile — a test that Kim Jong Un had called a Fourth of July "gift" to "the arrogant Americans."

Trump dismissed the missile launch as a "hoax," McCabe writes. "He thought that North Korea did not have the capability to launch such missiles. He said he knew this because Vladimir Putin had told him so."

Guys, it is SO MUCH WORSE when McCabe tells the story on "60 Minutes," because his account captures the fucking babyshits temper tantrum nature of Trump's reaction to his intel people.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc