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You might think Hillary Clinton is a feminist, but you are wrong. This week, she said "the unborn person does not have constitutional rights," and said "person" instead of "fetus." Then she said you can be a feminist and be pro-life. She did not even say the moar correcter "anti-choice"! HILLARY. If you don't take off your granny bra and burn it right now, we are going to take away your subscription to Ms.

Now that we have correctly yelled at the secretary, let me tell you a story. I was a pro-life little girl. I wanted to be a nun. When Randall Terry came to give a guest sermon at Mass, my mother and I beamed with pride and loudly applauded. I explained confidently to my aunt -- to her bald horror -- that a Catholic high school had every right to expel a student who aborted her child. (I still don't disagree with that.) And on weekends, and before school and after, we protested the nuclear sites, Iran-Contra, and the first Iraq War. And on weekends, and before school and after, we stood on freeway onramps with banners made from bed sheets, campaigning for whichever local Democrat would be hammered mercilessly on election night in our conservative suburb.

By my 20s I was still vaguely pro-life -- with the exception of teens, for whom I thought every abortion should come with an iPod -- but didn't particularly care that much. It was a thing I said with my mouth, but it wasn't in my top 100 action items. I started thinking about how many pregnancies spontaneously abort or miscarry, and switched to vaguely pro-choice. If God (in whom I don't believe) was killing so many babies in the womb, what did it hurt to help Him along? I read Molly Ivins (or Ann Richards? they both said such marvelous things) say you may not like abortion, but you have sympathy and don't judge when that nice lady down the street gets herself in trouble. And then I watched a family member hit his girlfriend in the back of the head, while she was facing away from him, folding their laundry. They were both on meth. She was five months pregnant. And it snapped. This baby needed to be aborted, even at late term. She needed to get away from him; she needed to have no ties. This little baby -- sure, a "baby," not even a fetus, why not -- was going to be born on meth in abusive Crazy Town. It was all going to be awful. It would have a life of distress and pain. And the rest of my family called her and called her, offering to take the baby, begging her not to do it.

I told them they needed to shut the fuck up and leave her alone, and I paid for the late-term abortion. I now think every abortion should be legal, even if the woman's reason for getting it is so she can jet off to the French Riviera in a gold lame Princess Leia bikini. (I'm totally sure that happens a lot.) I think abortion helps women better care for the children they have. I think some people trying to stop abortion are doing it because they believe the fetus is a baby, and their hearts are breaking for them, and I think some of them are patriarchal panty-sniffing sheet-inspecting moral monsters. If you don't believe in birth control at all? Yeah, that last one is you.

A week or two ago, on Twitter, a friend stated emphatically you can't be pro-life and a Democrat. While I do as she says in most things -- generally a good rule to live by! -- she can tell it to my mom. If my mother's not a Democrat, she'll be happy to know she can keep her Saturdays free again. No more spending her weekends holding up Yellow Dog Democrat signs on the corner of Shawnee's biggest intersection, Farrell and Beard. She won't have to make all those calls for the Pott County Democrats meeting. She won't have to serve on the platform committee so Oklahoma Democrats know they are for gay rights and Obamacare and marijuana and all God's other good things.

My mother didn't stop being pro-life when we both stopped believing in God. She even thinks the little girl in Brazil, forced to bear her stepdad's child at the age of 11, won't suffer too much harm from it. Does my mother go and God-bother Planned Parenthood? Hell no, they cured her teen daughter's chlamydia. Does she vote for Jim Lankford or other deeply evil people, so she can save a baby? Of course not, they're bad. As a pro-life Democrat, she may be a statistical outlier, but she believes in feeding that baby even after it's born. She believes in making its mom's life better, not screaming at her that she's a "taker" and a whore. The vast majority of her convictions are served better by the Democrats than the GOP, and so she disagrees with them on This One Thing.

Hillary Clinton said person instead of fetus. She said you can be pro-life and still be a feminist.

And Hillary Clinton -- fighting for decades to make abortion "safe, legal and rare" and boy, that pissed people off too -- is right.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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