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Hillary Clinton: FEED ME Thanks For The Memories!

Former first lady Hillary Clinton has until the convention in August to get her money back, her goddamn money for Christ's sake, but how will she do that? The same way she does everything: by lying. Today she sent an e-mail to supporters, asking, "I hope you'll take a moment to view our online album with some favorite photos from the campaign." There are like seven mostly terrible photos, and then, of course, the big red CONTRIBUTE button. So basically she asks you to look at photos of her failed, finished campaign, and then to... give her money for it! Done and done. Also, Hilz ends her e-mail with, "I'll be in touch soon." Hooray! [Hillary Clinton]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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