Hillary Clinton Said True Thing About Tulsi Gabbard, Everybody Sh*t Your Pants!

Well! Well well well! Hillary Clinton dared to speak in public again, where the fuck does she get off, hasn't she heard that some people on Twitter have determined that she is no longer allowed to do that, HAAAARRRRRUMPH GRRR ARGH? It's not like she was the Democratic Party's presidential nominee in 2016 and won the popular vote by almost three million, only "losing" the Electoral College because of a bizarre fluke-y confluence of events involving an FBI director gone rogue and a "sweeping and systematic" attack on our election by Russia, as Republican former FBI director/special counsel Robert Mueller put it in his report, to hurt her candidacy and (successfully) install the Kremlin's chosen asset, Donald Trump, in the American presidency.

God, what a horrible bitch Hillary Clinton is, for TALKING LIKE A COMMON PERSON WHO TALKS, UGGGGGGGH GO AWAY.

Some people are doing their best impression of Kyle's mom on "South Park" saying "WHAwhaWHATTTTTTT?!" because Clinton did a podcast and said a couple of very obviously true things about the Democratic primary, and Tulsi Gabbard in particular. If you are one of those people who thinks it's fashionable to lose your shit every time Hillary Clinton deigns to share her thoughts, you're gonna want to get your inhaler real quick:

"I'm not making any predictions, but I think they've got their eye on somebody who is currently in the Democratic primary and are grooming her to be the third-party candidate. She's the favorite of the Russians." [...]

"They have a bunch of sites and bots and other ways of supporting her so far. And that's assuming [Green Party politician] Jill Stein will give it up, which she might not because she's also a Russian asset. She's a Russian asset, I mean, totally. They know they can't win without a third party candidate."

We don't know who-all is whining about this, and we don't feel like traveling to the asshole of the internet to find out, so let's just use Daily Beast editor-in-chief Noah Schachtman as a stand-in for what we assume is mostly white male rage:

Concern troll is concerned Hillary might not be able to back up the thing she said that's obviously true to anyone who has paid attention to American politics since 2016.

But sure, let's dissect what Clinton said. First, she said she's "not making any predictions." That means she doesn't actually know what is going to happen, and is acknowledging that. Next, she said Russia's "got [its] eye on somebody who is currently in the Democratic primary" and is "currently grooming her to be the third-party candidate." She is clearly referring to Amy Klobuchar Tulsi Gabbard.

Does Russia have its eye on Tulsi Gabbard? Uh yeah, they are 100 percent for sure watching her from a distance, just like Creeper God in the Bette Midler song. For some good evidence of this, we turn to an excellent piece from journalist Julia Davis in, ahem, the very fine publication called The Daily Beast, which Schachtman runs, and which examined how state-run Russian media is treating the Democratic primary, with a particular focus on ... Tulsi Gabbard!

This was published August 2, after an earlier debate. Perhaps Schachtman had the poops that day and missed it.

Russian state TV gushed about its second Democrat darling: "Tulsi Gabbard became the most popular candidate in Google searches."

Russia's ongoing support for Gabbard is not surprising, since her talking points are in perfect alignment with the Kremlin and its allies, including even and especially the Assad regime in Syria. During Wednesday's debate, Gabbard dramatically proclaimed: "We were all lied to" [by the U.S. government] in perfect synchrony with Russia's constant assertions that the United States cannot be trusted. RT (formerly Russia Today) previously stated that, "Tulsi Gabbard's emergence fills a glaring lacuna in a political culture in Washington chronically afflicted with the moral and rabid sickness of an empire that has entered its mad dog days."

Since 2016, RT's pundits have opined that Tulsi Gabbard's "ideology is basically made up" and pondered whether she would abandon the Democratic Party and "go from Bernie Sanders to Donald Trump" in order to secure a position within his administration.

AND Russian state-run media was mad at Twitter for #RIGGING the trending topics against Gabbard, even though she was the most Googled candidate that night (Google and Twitter are two different things, which Russia knows very well), AND Russian state-run media has been openly meddling on the internet and promoting Gabbard for months now, which NBC News reported in February. In response, Gabbard went on the "Morning Joe" and angrily asserted that the NBC News report had been debunked.

Know who "debunked" it? Oh just Russian state-media organ RT. How very legit! Also Glenn Greenwald AKA The Honest Debunker Of Mean Things Liberals Say About Mother Russia.

Clinton did say above that Russia is "grooming" Gabbard to be a third-party spoiler, and we don't know how literally she meant "grooming," but we would note that Gabbard does seem to be going on TV and complaining all the time that the DNC is #RIGGING the primary against her, by making her campaign bad and making her unworthy of voters' trust and just generally forcing her to be an asshole who's wrong about everything. And where does she go on TV?

Tucker Carlson's White Power Hour! You know, the one Glenn Greenwald goes on!

This was this week:

James O'Keefe? Awesome.

Clinton also noted, correctly, that Russia has deployed its bot army in support of Gabbard. For context and useful information on how Russia did this in 2016, check out The Mueller Report. For evidence that Russia is still engaged in this activity and plans to come back hard in 2020, check out Robert Mueller testifying before Congress and saying that out loud with his mouth.

Like Hillary Clinton, we do not know exactly what is going to happen, or whether Gabbard will take Russia up on its pretty obvious desire for her to run third party and help re-elect Trump once she loses the Democratic Primary. Gabbard says she won't do it, but she also hasn't signed Indivisible's pledge not to run as a spoiler, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(For the record, the only other candidate on that debate stage the other night who hasn't signed it is Andrew Yang. We are just pointing that out.)

Reached for comment about the mean things Mean Hillary said about innocent and wonderful Tulsi Gabbard, Clinton spokesman Nick Merrill said, "If the nesting doll fits."

In the second half of that quote above, Hillary Clinton called Jill Stein a "Russian asset." You know, this Jill Stein, pictured here at dinner with soon-to-be-sentenced literal actual foreign agent Michael Flynn and Vladimir Putin at a gala for RT in Russia:


And we hate to have to explain this, because it's Friday and we don't feel like it and we shouldn't have to waste our time defining simple English words, but calling somebody a Russian "asset" is not the same thing as calling them a "spy." An asset is just somebody who does the Kremlin's bidding, whether or not they know they are doing it.

We don't know if Gabbard and Stein are witting assets. They could be! Maybe they have the same handler, a gruff yet elegant woman named Zoya, who makes a mean borscht and is freely giving of motherly love, but whose orders must be followed at all times. But neither Wonkette nor Hillary Clinton is asserting that.

However, Stein's foreign policy, like Donald Trump's, is right out of the Kremlin's playbook. And Tulsi Gabbard? HOO BOY HOLY SHIT. The Kremlin is more than happy to push and promote these women, because it's part of their agenda for fomenting chaos in American elections and trying their damnedest to keep a patriotic American who'll hold Russia accountable from winning the presidency.

In conclusion, Hillary Clinton is the worst person in America and should go live under rocks, she probably has a Clinton Body Count and a PizzaGate, and also we believe all the other things the right-wing internet has been saying about her for three decades, even though we are a dyed-in-the-wool progressive, because Republican donors and Russians have spent a shit-ton of money over the years to make sure we believe that shit.

Or, you know, the opposite of that.

Good-fucking-bye, it is Friday, have an OPEN THREAD.

LATE BREAKING UPDATE: Tulsi Gabbard is currently losing her shit on Twitter over this:

Hahahahahahahahaha, what a lunatic.

[Talking Points Memo / Daily Beast]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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