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Hillary Has Thirty Minutes Left To Pull Out N-word

This president is Warren G. Harding, a very corrupt Republican from Ohio who stole money from corporate lobbyists and basically ruined the world. Can anyone stop "Mexico John" McCain? Maybe, but Hillary Clinton would prefer to kill Barack and then get tortured by John McCain. Here are parts one and two of the liveblog. Onward!


10:00 -- Thank you to Ken Layne for liveblogging the last half-hour, which was some of the worst produced television in history. Some MSNBC intern mislabeled the "Barack Hopeful Speech" VHS tape as "Hillary Bitch Rant," and we had to see both.

10:01 -- Barack knows there's more to him than Hope, but most people don't really care either way.

10:02 -- Sparkle yourself out of that pledge to stick to public financing, black wizard.

10:03 -- Nah nah not like that, Barry says. No pledge.

10:04 -- Russert gives up. (He's gotta play devil's advocate against Jesus sometimes, ya know).

10:05 -- Anyway, back to the one that everybody hates: Hillary, we must know how much you made in FY 2007.

10:06 -- Why can't you give your tax returns now, Hillary? Is it because of your huge ass? No bias.

10:08 -- Alas, we may never see Hillary's tax returns. Why does she even wake up in the morning?

10:09 -- Louis Farrakhan likes you. Why do you kill white people that you supposedly will represent -- or is there something you're not telling us?

10:10 -- Let's up the ante, Barry: why do you support the Holocaust you anti-Semitic piece of shit?

10:11 -- Nah nah, Barry says. No anti-Semitism.

10:12 -- Ruh roh, Hillary wants to chime in on her relationship with the Jews.

10:13 -- Guess why Hillary thinks she's an authority about Barry's hatred of the Jews? Think.

10:13 -- Think more.

10:13 -- It's really predictable.

10:13 -- One last second for you stragglers!

10:13 -- BECAUSE SHE'S THE SENATOR OF JEW YORK!

10:15 -- She's the senator of Jew York, and if anyone said something bad about the Jews ever, anywhere, Hillary would denounce them. "Because who doesn't love a good bagel and lox?" she stops short of saying.

10:16 -- Barack thinks her dichotomy on their different ways of denouncing Jew-denouncers is, say, a false dichotomy. He thinks there's really no difference and he'll denounce Jew-denouncers in all sorts of fancy wordplay.

10:16 -- Hillary agrees. Barack Obama does not hate the Jews (tonight!).

10:19 -- Commercial over, back to half-decent questions grunted angrily, severely, by Tim Russert.

10:21 -- Barack, a magazine says you're the most liberal Jew in the Senate. What was it like growing up in Africa with this burden?

10:22 -- Nah nah, Barry says. No liberal.

10:23 -- What do you know about Putin, Hillary? She knows his time is up -- all Soviet hat, no Russian saddle with that guy, year in, year out.

10:23 -- MEDWJDWFAMFMEWWDDDDEEDWB -- the name of the new Russian president, according to Hillary Clinton.

10:24 -- Barack also thinks the new Russian president is someone we should pay attention to, but he's cool.

10:25 -- Ooh, it's that time where they say what they regretted! Does Hillary regret anything? Does Barack regret too much?

10:26 -- Hillary: Well... Jesus, let me rack my brain!... I've mentioned the Iraq vote was iffy before--

10:26 -- Russert: DO YOU REGRET IT.

10:26 -- Oh Tim, it was the Bush Administration, you see, who did the Iraq war after I pretended to vote for it, no big--

10:27 -- Russert: DO YOU REGRET THE VOTE, BILLARY.

10:28 -- Tim, did you know that Barack did crack in high school, while plagiarizing, and last week too?

10:29 -- Russert: DO YOU REGRET THE VOTE, BILLARY ROD-SHAM CLINTON.

10:30 -- Yeah sure I regret that vote all the time.

10:32 -- Barack: You know what I regret? Meeting God when I was 22, and becoming divine and immortal. Sometimes I want to live among the humans, you know? They have such nice things.

10:34 -- Hillary, would you like to eulogize your campaign with the last word?

10:35 -- Hillary: I will get health care for children.

10:36 -- The end. No criticism has ever stuck to Barack Obama.

10:50 -- New liveblog thread is HERE!!

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