Hillary To Kappa Kappa Gamma On Benghazi Committee: WTF Are You Even Talking About?
Kappa Kappa Gamma material.
If you've been following along, you know that Hillary Clinton is doing some REAL Benghazi-ing in today's Benghazi hearing, and all the Republicans are sound like A Idiot. Like this lady, Rush Chair for Kappa Kappa Gamma and Alabama Republican Rep. Martha Roby. She just is really pretty sure?
Rep. Roby read ALL the Clinton emails, in between the planning meeting for the Spring Formal and going to see Hunter at the ATO house, and she knows there was this one person who said this one time to this other person that Hillz didn't even KNOW we had a presence in Benghazi, and like, Caitlin, how is Hillary ever going to be a Kappa if she doesn't know we are in Benghazi? It's kind of a thing, Hillary.
To which Hillary replied, "WHO ARE YOU AND HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET ELECTED TO CONGRESS, YOU TWIT?"
No, we are fooling, Hillary didn't say that with her mouth. She said it with her eyes. Here is the exchange:
ROBY: It's not so clear from everything that we've reviewed that you had a vision going forward in Benghazi into 2012 and beyond.
How do you see yourself being an asset to Kappa Kappa Gamma, Hillary?
ROBY: I want to point this out to you -- I say this, because I want to point you to an e-mail in early February 2012, between two staffers at your Libya desk that says, you didn't know whether we still even had a presence in Benghazi.
Then Roby said a bunch more words about some emails and read them aloud. She is so good at reading! Here's the video:
CLINTON: Well, I can't comment on what has been reported. Of course, I knew we had a presence in Benghazi. I knew that we were evaluating what that presence should be, how long it should continue. And I knew exactly what we were doing in Libya.
Clinton went on to explain how "the United States played a role in the first election that the Libyan people had in 51 years," and that we worked with the United Nations to eliminate Gadhafi's chemical weapons, and BLAH BLAH BLAH, things Hillary Clinton was doing in Libya.
But Hillary! That's not what Roby read in an email!
ROBY: Secretary Clinton, if I may, I hear what you're saying, but this e-mail says something very, very different.
CLINTON: Well, I -- you know, I can't speak to that. I can just tell you what I was doing, and I was doing a lot.
ROBY: Sure. But these -- this was your staff.
And then Hillary had to say all over again that despite whatever emails Roby read, yes, Clinton can find Benghazi on a map and she knew we were there, and she knew what was what, because she was the secretary of state, duh. But Roby has this one email that proves it's all a lie! Explain yourself, Hillary Clinton!
CLINTON: Well, could -- could you tell me who is -- who are the names on this e-mail that you're talking about?
ROBY: Sure. I can. Turn to tab 31. You have a book in front of you. It is Alice Abdallah and I'm going to pronounce it wrong, Enya Sodarais (ph)? Is that correct?
CLINTON: They were not on my staff. I'm not in any way contradicting what they think they heard or what they heard somebody say. But the people that I know...
ROBY: Can you tell me who they were if they were not on your staff?
CLINTON: They were not on my -- they were in the State Department, along with thousands of other people. They were not part of the secretary staff. But I get what you're saying, Congresswoman.
Well! If Hillary Clinton does not know the name of every single person who has ever worked in the State Department, and is not familiar with every single email ever sent by a State Department employee -- especially the incriminating one under tab 31!!! -- doesn't this prove she personally murdered Ambassador Chris Stevens? She's NEVER going to be a Kappa with that attitude.
After Rep. Roby finished rushing the new pledge, the questioning switched to Rep. Adam Smith, the Democrat from Washington, who said something to the effect of, "Um, it's pretty clear you knew we were in Benghazi, Madame Secretary," and she was like "CLEARLY, motherfucker. And again, who was that lady even?" and Rep. Smith said, "I KNOW RIGHT?" and then they said "PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!" in unison and braided each other's hair.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.