His Childhood Nickname Was 'Bubbles.' It's Mike Pence Night At The RNC!
mike pence smh GIF by Election 2016

Seriously, that was Mike Pence's childhood nickname. We learned that in the same profile where Donald Trump joked (HA HA!) that Mike Pence wanted to see all the gays "hanged."

Pence just better hope there are no ladies at his speech tonight, because Mother doesn't like it when Mike Pence talks to ladies.

Anyway, here's your video:

Watch live: RNC Day 3 speakers include Vice President Pence and wife Karenwww.youtube.com

Other speakers this evening include Mother, so we imagine it's gonna get REAL "Handmaid's Tale" up in there.

For dumb shitmouthed elected officials who really think they're smart, we've got Reps. Dan Crenshaw, Lee Zeldin and Elise Stefanik; Sens. Marsha Blackburn and Joni Ernst; and South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem.

We got Kellyanne Conway, who we thought was supposed to be parenting right now.

For more lying filth garbage, there will be Ric Grenell, who was Trump's embarrassment of an ambassador to Germany, before he became Trump's embarrassment of an acting DNI. He's gay, so we imagine he'll spew some quisling bullshit about Trump being the most pro-gay president EVER.

Oh, and former NFL safety Jack Brewer, who is currently indicted for crime.

We imagine some other Nazis are speaking, which -- WAIT FOR IT -- we did NAZI coming!

It gets going at 8:30 p.m. Eastern, but you can get going watching this movie if you want, because fuck the loser RNC for losers. Tonight's selection is the sci-fi classic Stargate!


Good RNC, everyone. Good RNC.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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