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Hit and Run: Bob Novak Smashes Pedestrian With Black Corvette

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Already known as the worst, meanest driver in Washington, this morning Robert Novak was caught by witnesses driving into a pedestrian and speeding away from the crime scene. Novak was racing down 18th Street through the K St. NW intersection when he hit a much younger man, a 66 year old who was using the crosswalk and had a green walk signal.


The man flew over the hood and over the windshield of Novak's black Corvette before rolling off to the street. Novak sped away, but was chased by a lawyer on a bicycle.

[David] Bono said the pedestrian, who was crossing the street on a "Walk" signal and was in the crosswalk, rolled off the windshield and then Novak made a right into the service lane of K Street. “The car is speeding away. What’s going through my mind is, you just can’t hit a pedestrian and drive away,” Bono said.

The assault was also witnessed by "a WJLA-TV crew and reporter," according to the Politico.

The cops got him and threw him in jail forever. Ha ha, not really. They gave him a ticket for "failing to yield" and let him go. The unidentified 66-year-old victim is in the hospital.

Novak once told the Washington Post that he hated "jaywalkers" and wanted to run them all over.

Breaking: Novak cited after hitting pedestrian [Politico]

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Can the breaking news take a fucking break for five seconds so we can start getting in gear for eating nine million calories of food and being thankful for everything we ...

No?

Fine, go, New York Times:

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Would you like to watch a joyful video featuring America's last competent and smart and sexxxy president, Barry Bamz-A-Lot McGee? Of course you would! You are probably already traveling for Thanksgiving, so STOP WATCHING THIS VIDEO WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING, IDIOT. But if you are not currently operating a motor vehicle, please proceed with this post!

Anyway, Barack Obama was saying words at his Obummer Foundation Summit, put on by the Nobummer Foundation, and he was talking about why it's so dang hard for America to actually get Great Again in these trying times. He didn't mention Donald Trump's name, because he only does that when he really wants to, but he sure did list some of the things that are holding us (read: Trump) back. You know, like racism.

And "mommy issues."

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