Hit Dogs Holler

Looks like somebody heard President Joe Biden talking about him during his inaugural address.

Oh goodness! Did Joe Biden call Rand Paul a white supremacist or a racist or a liar or an every name in the book? How rude, if true!

What's that old expression? "A hit dog will holler"? Or "If your white hood fits, Rand"?

Yes, the senator who just had some problems with banning LYNCHING thinks he heard Joe Biden call him a white supremacist, racist liar in his inaugural speech.

So did the wingnuts on Newsmax:

TOM BASILE (HOST): [I]t was very dark.

It was no "American carnage," but go off.

BASILE: It was actually, you know, not unifying. It was actually quite divisive. It's very difficult to drive a unifying message when you're going to simultaneously talk about an overblown sense of white supremacy and systemic racism. And you lead a party that is driving cancel culture in America. You know, oftentimes when he was talking about unity I kept on thinking to myself, so does this apply to conservatives as well? Does this apply to pro-life people? Does this apply to people who've been cancelled at their jobs, at their universities, in the media, in their own lives because they believe in traditional American values, in more conservative values?

Joe Biden did intolerant disunifying cancel culture to white supremacists and racists! Can't we just compromise and say SOME white supremacism and racism are OK?

It wasn't just Newsmax and Rand, of course. Fox News was full of it.

Karl Rove whined on Fox that it seemed like Biden was saying if you weren't one of his 81 million voters, then YOU are a racist nativist.

There was Fox host Martha MacCallum, who bellyached that Biden calling out nativism, racism, and fear sounded to her like Hillary Clinton calling Trump supporters deplorables and Barack Obama saying they cling to guns and religion. She said this in response to Wall Street Journal deputy editorial page director Dan Henninger, who was also whining:

MARTHA MACCALLUM: He talked about nativism, racism, and fear. And, you know, it kind of fits in to the litany of words that we've heard about the deplorables, about clinging to guns and religion, about cults and people being — need to be deprogrammed.

And oh Christ, then there was Tucker AKA the pointiest white hood of the Fox News primetime lineup:

TUCKER CARLSON: Now that we're waging war on white supremacists, can somebody tell us in very clear language what a white supremacist is?

Sounds like Schmucker Schmarlson?

CARLSON: You might be surprised to learn just how broad the definition for that has become.

Bloomberg News has described a wall along our southern border as "a monument to white supremacy." So be certain not to support that.

Colin Kaepernick, who seems to have the unequivocal support of corporate America, calls the Fourth of July an example of white supremacy. So you'd better put away the fireworks and the hot dogs.

The United States Army, a trusted institution if there ever was one, has used an entire manual on what is and what is not white supremacy.

So you should know this, among the telltale signs of a committed white supremacist are these: celebrating Columbus Day, using the term "American exceptionalism," any support for federal border security or English only measures, or "education funding from property taxes." All white supremacy. Using the phrase, "There's only one human race," is white supremacy too, according to the Army. And of course, voting for Donald Trump. All white supremacy.

Hit. Dog. Holler.

Here's Tucker saying 14 words about President Biden's war on white supremacists, as he whines that "other channels fill their air with attacks on so-called Proud Boys, whoever they are, or QAnon enthusiasts," or just reg'lar gun owners in Pennsylvania who "vote the wrong way." Tucker clearly views attacks on white supremacists as attacks on all white people, which tells you a lot about Tucker.

Media Matters's Matthew Gertz collected some screengrabs from Tucker and from Hannity, who literally had seditionist congressmembers Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert on to whine about how President Biden attacked them:

Was there Laura Ingraham with a chyron that whined that Biden's speech about "unity" sent an "ominous message?" Of course there was.

We left so much out, but you get the idea.

Goodness! Joe Biden Must Really Have Declared War On All White People Yesterday!

Let's go to the Joe Biden text to see what he said, since these whitest of snowflakes are so triggered.

A cry for racial justice, some 400 years in the making, moves us.

If you're not a white supremacist, that is a good and true line. If you are, probably made you holler.

And now a rise of political extremism, white supremacy, domestic terrorism that we must confront and we will defeat.

If you're not a white supremacist, you might remember the last four years of extremism and white supremacy that lived in the White House, which culminated in a domestic terrorist attack incited by the former president. But if you are a white supremacist, that probably made you holler. Especially if you also helped incite that attack by promoting Donald Trump's fascist Big Lie that he won an election he lost by MILLIONSFUCKINGMILLIONS of votes.

Uniting to fight the foes we face: anger, resentment, hatred, extremism, lawlessness, violence, disease, joblessness and hopelessness. [...]

Our history has been a constant struggle between the American ideal that we're all created equal and the harsh, ugly reality that racism, nativism, fear, demonization have long torn us apart.

If you're not a white supremacist, those lines probably struck you as reasonable and true. If you are, then, well then BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!

That's it. Those are the lines from Biden's speech we are pretty sure crawled up in these deplorables' assholes and are still making them whimper 24 hours later.

All these goddamned Republicans calling for "unity" right now — it's been real cute from the actual seditionist senators and congressmen whining "CAN'T WE ALL GET ALONG?" — obviously are unable or unwilling to grasp that there can be no unity without accountability. They seem to be forgetting that without their extremism, without their racism, without their white supremacist inclinations, we wouldn't be in the situation we're in. And no, there's no "opposing side" to that argument. We are not negotiating with terrorists, and we are not compromising with white supremacists.

If you heard President Biden's speech yesterday and you felt attacked, you, my dear, are a racist. If you watch Tucker Carlson and think he is just the best boy, you are likely a white supremacist. If you heard Joe Biden ask us to join together as Americans and fight political extremism, white supremacy, and domestic terrorism, and it made you mad, that says more about you than it says about President Biden. If you heard President Biden say those things yesterday and you swear up and down you were just trying to save America when you stormed the Capitol, it's pretty clear you're a domestic terrorist and should be waiting for a knock on your door from the FBI any minute.

And if you hear calls for common decency and it offends you, Jesus Christ, go fuck yourself.

[Washington Post / Media Matters / ibid.]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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