Homeland Security Now Just Big Empty Building With Stephen Miller Riding Trike Through Halls
A lesser website might screenshot 'The Purge.' No such laziness from Yr Wonkette.

Donald Trump is a busy boy these days, just purging the living hell out of the Department of Homeland Security so his immigration Obersturmbannführer Stephen Miller can run immigration policy just the way he likes. At least that's what the current purge looks like, although almost no one but goatfucker Erick Erickson (and apparently your Editrix, who likes a long shot) seems to think Miller could actually be appointed secretary at DHS. As it stands, in addition to the firesignations of DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen Sunday and Secret Service Director Randolph "Tex" Alles yesterday, the administration also withdrew its nomination of Ronald D. Vitiello to head Immigration and Customs Enforcement last week so Trump could go in a "tougher direction." And there are more heads about to roll, according to multiple reports. Once the department is completely empty, Miller will presumably be free to use arcane majicks to summon up an entire bureaucracy full of eldritch monsters to fill key positions, pending their obtaining the proper security clearances, which shouldn't be a problem.

Who else has their head on the block? MANY OF THEM, KATIE, says the New York Times:

Officials said they expect to see the departures of L. Francis Cissna, the head of United States Citizenship and Immigration Services; Kathy Nuebel Kovarik, one of his top deputies; and John Mitnick, the department's general counsel and a senior member of Ms. Nielsen's leadership team. All of them were said to be viewed by Mr. Miller as obstacles to implementing the president's policies.

In addition, since Trump has already announced current Customs and Border Protection Commissioner Kevin K. McAleenan as the acting director for DHS, there's still the question of how to get around a stupid federal law that required the acting position to be filled by acting DHS deputy secretary Clair Grady. CBS News reports that's not merely a "might happen" but a fait accompli, and that Cissna, Mitnick, and Grady are all "leaving the administration" Full Stop. No mention of Novarik in the CBS piece. What the hell, it's TrumpWorld, so it's permanent Anything Can Happen Day.

The Times says that in the case of Secret Service chief Alles at least, the writing has been on WALL for a little while, like even before the Chinese spy (?) follies at Mar-a-Lago:

At Mr. Trump's instruction, Mick Mulvaney, the acting White House chief of staff, told Mr. Alles at least 10 days ago to expect a transition after two years in office and to develop an exit plan, according to officials familiar with the discussions.

We also learn this intriguing tidbit: Trump long ago decided Alles wasn't liked or respected by the people in the Secret Service -- probably as accurate as Trump's belief that most in the FBI despised James Comey -- and had taken to ridiculing the poor guy for his big ears, calling him "Dumbo." To be fair, Alles does look a bit like an aging version of the old Loony Tunes caricature of Frank Sinatra.

Sources we just made up told Wonkette that another mark against Alles was his refusal to stop going by "Tex" and adopt Miller's chosen nickname, "Uber."

The Night of the Long Sporks has Republican supporters of Trump at least mildly puzzled, since many of the officials headed out the bomb bay doors actually favor Trump's goals but insist, like little pussy bitches, that the law still needs to be followed. Trump doesn't see why that should be a thing, so maybe he can find people who'll do what he wants. Sen. John Cornyn of Texas told Politico it looked like a bit of a tantrum, maybe:

Strikes me as just a frustration of not being able to solve a problem. Honestly, it wasn't Secretary Nielsen's fault. It wasn't for lack of effort on her part. I don't know if there's anybody who's going to be able to do more.

We like how Cornyn pretends not to have the slightest idea what Stephen Miller is all about, because lol, separation of powers:

Cornyn said he has no idea what Miller's "agenda" is in determining immigration policy because he isn't Senate-confirmed and doesn't correspond with the Hill.

Or maybe Cornyn just doesn't read German.

Chuck Grassley, who should know better by now, wanly hoped Trump might stop the bloodletting, since after all these people Miller wants hung out to dry all hate Mexicans plenty:

"There's no doubt that Cissna has proved his competence, in a lot of things he's doing — things that the president is for," Mr. Grassley said. Referring to Mr. Cissna and Ms. Kovarik, both of whom once worked on his staff, Mr. Grassley said, "If he gets rid of these two, it's self-defeating because I don't know anyone else in the department or at least in immigration" who could do better.

An anonymous administration told the Times Cissna had earned Miller's wrath by refusing to change asylum policy without an actual change in the law by Congress, which we can see would be irritating to someone who thinks "laws" get in the way of efficiency.

Anyway, everything's just fine, as we see from NYT's list of all the DHS jobs that are currently vacant or filled only by acting administrators:

The latest departures, along with previous vacancies, will leave the Department of Homeland Security without a permanent secretary, deputy secretary, two under secretaries, Secret Service director, Federal Emergency Management Agency director, ICE director, general counsel, citizenship and immigration services director, inspector general, chief financial officer, chief privacy officer and, once Mr. McAleenan moves, Customs and Border Protection commissioner.

Yr Wonkette was able to obtain this undercover spy photo of Mr. Miller contemplating his next moves:

Good luck America!

[CNN / NYT / CBS News / Politico]

Yr Wonkette is funded by your donations! Send us money and we can keep our writers paid enough to keep them from applying for a DHS position.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc