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Hooray, Hillary Is President of Florida Again!

Mmm, GatorHillary Clinton has won zero delegates but 48% of the precincts have been counted up and guess who's president again? Sorry, Obama. What does it mean?


* "Obama's got a big problem," says the guy who looks like Dick Cheney on CNN.

* Black people voted 70% for Obama. Black Democrats, at least.

* Hillary's got a big, big 49% right now, or 271,883 votes, at 8:06 p.m.

* Mike Gravel now has 2% of Zero Delegates.

* Wolf Blitzer trimmed his neck fuzz a little too closely, so you can see some acne pits on his neck. Or maybe they are ... ticks?

* Hillary is about to speak! She is going to announce the bombing of Barack Obama's Florida headquarters.

* This was the longest intro in the history of intros .... and it's still not an introduction of Hillary, who just stands there, grinning like a Murderer.

* We've switched to Fox News, and also MSNBC. Both are "better" than CNN.

* Brit Hume: "Well, huh huh, it is a little ... weird." He thinks it is weird that Hillary Clinton is accepting this 49% victory.

* Right now, Obama is at 29% and "Soil of the South" John Edwards is at 15%.

* Bill Kristol thinks Al Gore is going to endorse Obama.

* Ah, Hillary is finally yelling at us! Hooray!

* "I could not come here to ask in person for your votes, but I am here to thank you. For your votes. TODAY!"

* Did you know Senator Bill Nelson is an Astronaut? He wears diapers and kills by night.

* Also, Hillary "believes" in a bunch of stuff. You know, like rewarding hard work, and making sure our kids could learn, and the health care could be for you, and she is so angry that all her Wall Street billionaire friends don't pay enough taxes.

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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