Hope Y'all Are Sitting Down: Jim Jordan Is On Team Matt Gaetz!

In news that will surely make you fall out of your chair, GOP Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio is standing with Matt Gaetz in the wake of the news that Gaetz is under federal investigation for sex trafficking girls.

And everybody who ever wrestled for Ohio State said WHAT? Wait WHAT? Our Jim Jordan? The same guy who, according to former OSU wrestlers, was absolutely aware of and looked the other way while the team doc was sexually assaulting thousands of them? WHAT? He said WHAT? Jim Jordan is standing by Matt Gaetz?

So that is shocking.

We discussed in our last Pizzagaetz post that Republicans all over DC and elsewhere are gleefully texting each other about how much they hate Matt Gaetz and just aren't all too upset about what's currently happening in his life. But obviously there are dead-enders, fellow seditionist members of Congress, the absolute worst shithole human beings America has ever produced and subsequently sent to Congress, who stand with Gaetz. Jordan naturally is one of them.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is another. She is shouting on Twitter, echoing Gaetz's demands that the FBI/DOJ please RELEASETHETRANSCRIPTSs!!11!!1TAPES! of the alleged extortion attempt against Gaetz, which actually has zero to do with whether Gaetz is innocent of the sex trafficking allegations.

What're you gonna do? Greene is just weapons-grade stupid.

She added:

Uh huh.

Meanwhile, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy addressed the allegations this morning, and while it very well may be true that inside his heart he's one of the Republicans who's more than happy to let Gaetz stomp his own dick to death, saving McCarthy the chore of wiping Gaetz's dick off his shoe, out loud McCarthy said that "[i]f it comes out to be true, yes," he would remove Gaetz from his assigned committees. Notably, that includes the Judiciary Committee that has oversight of the FBI and DOJ reportedly investigating Gaetz.

Presumably he'd wait until Gaetz was convicted of a crime and was literally being carted off to federal prison.

In other Gaetz news, this happened to come up on Twitter today.

Yes, the jobs were posted today. What a very fun opportunity that sounds like!

Just don't ask to cross any state lines. Interns might not be allowed to do that right now. Allegedly.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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