Hope You Weren't Planning On Watching Any Cheesy Hallmark Holiday Movies Tonight!

Hope You Weren't Planning On Watching Any Cheesy Hallmark Holiday Movies Tonight!

So! I was gonna make the last thread the open thread, but then I saw this and realized I needed to warn the masses who might hypothetically be planning on spending their evenings tonight watching bad Hallmark Christmas movies.

You know how we always laugh and laugh at the One Million Moms and how they are definitely not One Million Moms ad, and how we cannot imagine that any company in this day and age would care what they think on account of how they are the worst? Well, we were wrong. Or I was. Because The Hallmark Channel, caving to pressure from the website that is not actually a group of One Million Moms, has pulled several ads from wedding planning Zola.com featuring same-sex couples getting married.

Via New York Times:

Asked to explain why the ads had been rejected, an employee of Hallmark's parent company said the channel did not accept ads "that are deemed controversial," according to an email exchange shared with The New York Times. A spokesman for Hallmark said the women's "public displays of affection" violated the channel's policies, but he declined to comment on why a nearly identical ad featuring a bride and groom kissing was not rejected.

Oh really? Hallmark hates kissing? Then explain THIS:


And this!


This, for the record, is one of the ads — which one would not really call "too hot for TV:"

Zola | Easy Wedding Planning | TV Ad Spotyoutu.be

The initial campaign by the One Million Moms featured some comments from angry bigots upset that their "family friendly" movie (that clearly, could have been about kissing) was murdered by the Zola ad.

One viewer commented on the board:
"Why would you show a lesbian wedding commercial on the Hallmark Channel? Hallmark movies are family friendly, and you ruined it with the commercial."

Another viewer wrote:
"Our family was watching a wonderful Hallmark movie based on a true story. It was late, but our daughter was up late with us. During the commercial break, there was a commercial from Zola with two women lip locking! Please Hallmark … we are fed up with having the gay agenda crammed down our throats! You are one of the few channels we thought we would not have to deal with this issue! Please remove this and any other gay, lesbian, bisexual, or anything else it is called from your channels. … We love you but won't keep watching with this type of ads."

IT'S ALMOST 2020! Gay people are gonna kiss! Right there, in front of your eyes! And it's not anyone cramming anything down your throat (unless that's what you're into, we don't judge), it's just people living their lives.

The campaign also noted that it was upset that the channel had been looking for pitches for LGBTQ movies, which it probably won't do now, because it is a channel for cowards. So don't watch any of their shitty movies and don't buy any of their tacky cards, and let them get all of their revenue from the One Million Imaginary Moms.

If you are looking for a non-shitty alternative, I cannot recommend joining the Lifetime Movie Club enough. Last night, owing to having spent the whole day extremely hungover from the night before, I stayed home, did some knitting and marathoned "Psycho Stripper," "I Almost Married A Serial Killer" and "Am I A Serial Killer?" and I have no regrets at all. I mean, sure, they have the cheesy Christmas content as well, if that is what you are into, but they also have the entire Dollanganger series and at least five movies at any given time in which a nanny is trying to steal her employer's baby. You are welcome.

And this is now your open thread!

[New York Times]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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