HORSEFACE. He Called Stormy Daniels HORSEFACE.
Well! Our president who cherishes women is cherishing women in public again! Because he is a lazy fuck who doesn't actually go to work in the morning, Donald Trump reacted on Twitter at around 11 AM to a federal judge tossing out Stormy Daniels's defamation lawsuit against him by declaring flawless victory, and also calling Daniels "Horseface." And misspelling her name. Here's a screenshot of that tweet, for once it's deleted (to correct the spelling, obviously -- the misogyny will stand):
You heard him, women of America. He called her HORSEFACE. And according to Maggie Haberman, he's been calling Stormy Daniels that in private for a long-ass time, but we guess he always goes off the record with Haberman before saying "Hey Maggie. HORSEFACE! HORSEFACE! STORMY IS THE HORSEFACE!"
As for the rest of the content of the tweet, we have been assured by Popehat that it is legally meaningless argle-bargle of the type that perpetually inhabits Trump's brain.
But back to HORSEFACE! First of all, it is always weird to us when Donald Trump, who looks like a mason jar full of anal warts floating around in a bowl of orange food coloring, comments on others' looks. We know he thinks women are beneath him, because his funky little Mario Kart weenus puts him on a pedestal somehow, but Jesus Christ. (For a quick primer on all the times Donald Trump has said gross things about women's looks without ever once noticing that his face looks the way his face looks, MSNBC's Hallie Jackson has a Twitter thread going.)
We also love that Trump misspelled "Stormy Daniels," but we're not surprised, because he is very stupid.
But let's get clear on what just happened: Donald Trump called the very beautiful porn actress and producer he had sex with and then arranged an illegal payoff to, which he directed his son Eric and his former dingbat lawyer Michael Cohen to make, a "horseface." He reportedly had unprotected sex with her, because guess who wraps his dick up when he has sex with women what are not his wife while his actual wife is home with their new baby? Not Donald Trump! To be fair, maybe they don't make condoms in weird little fun-sized shapes that would actually fit him.
Stormy Daniels has thoughts.
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present your president. In addition to his...umm...shortcomings, he has demonstrated h… https://t.co/JWt0YX30VB— Stormy Daniels (@Stormy Daniels)1539704730.0
GAME ON, TINY.
Michael Avenatti also has thoughts.
You are a disgusting misogynist and an embarrassment to the United States. Bring everything you have, because we ar… https://t.co/rYwbc2nTOf— Michael Avenatti (@Michael Avenatti)1539702869.0
The Daily Caller, which sprang from the unfuckable loins of Tucker Carlson, is thrilled about Trump's new heights in misogyny:
Trump Drops Devastating Nickname On Stormy Daniels https://t.co/2AFLACbpAS https://t.co/EkeTKGC9qD— The Daily Caller (@The Daily Caller)1539703660.0
The Daily Caller added in a tweet it has now deleted:
And Donald Trump Jr., who sprang from the unfuckable loins of his dad, is real excited as well:
DonaldJTrumpJr liked this tweet: https://t.co/PUHxsYxFcn— Trump Alert (@Trump Alert)1539703801.0
Reminder, everyone, that Donald Trump Jr. looks like this:
Meanwhile, over on Fox News, Ari Fleischer (something is fucking wrong with him) seems to be congratulating Trump on holding back from calling anybody a "horseface" this long, because that's how low the bar is.
As for the actual situation with the lawsuit being dismissed, it's really not that big of a deal. This was the defamation lawsuit Daniels and Avenatti filed after Trump tweeted that she had made up the incident where a thug threatened her in the parking lot of her gym. It's not the main event of the Daniels/Avenatti lawsuit related to the fucked up nondisclosure agreement Stormy Daniels was pressured to sign, and it's also not the related main event, which is the SDNY investigation into Trump and Michael Cohen's campaign finance crimes stemming from their illegal payoffs to women during the campaign. Michael Cohen has fucking pleaded guilty already! And implicated Trump as an unindicted co-conspirator!
Vox has a good splainer on what just happened, but suffice it to say that it may not even matter that Stormy Daniels is now responsible for Trump's legal fees for this particular lawsuit. First of all, Avenatti stated on MSNBC this morning that they are appealing this ruling, so they're not exactly in "OH HO HO, YOU BEAT US, TRUMP" stance. Secondly, Popehat estimated that Trump's legal fees here might be nothing more than $85K on the high end, in which case Daniels and Avenatti made out like bandits. She sold her book, he's raised his profile ... in short, this is not a loss.
Hell, they might have factored this cost in as a possible eventuality.
We look forward to Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who cried about a mean lady making fun of her eyeshadow, explaining that "Horseface" is not sexist in her next press briefing, which at this rate will be sometime in 2019.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!
Wonkette is the ONLY NEWS ON THE INTERNET. Please give us money RIGHT THERE BELOW if you want us to live FOREVER.