Hot New Dating Site Helps Gun Humpers Hump Other Gun Humpers
Gun lovers! Do you love the idea of a romantic first date at a coffee shop, but fear that the ladies you meet on Tinder may be put off when you show up with a ginormous assault rifle strapped to your back, like so?
That is fair! I get it! Because, hey, if I were to show up on a first date and see a fella carrying a giant gun, I would probably run far, far away and need about a pound of Ativan afterwards. Online dating was never actually very easy for me, due to my entirely reasonable suspicion that 90% of the dudes I might meet on there were probably Ted Bundy or someone wishing to murder me for the purposes of skin suit construction. If I saw a gun, the romance would be over before it started. Also I would pee my pants, probably.
People like me probably make dating rather difficult for those who wish to walk around town looking like Rambo! But luckily for them, there is a whole new dating site for people who have no fear of being murdered by a psychopath with a gun on their first date, because they, too, plan to be armed to the teeth. It is called "Concealed Carry Match," and it launched just last month.
Like some other sites, the site offers paid memberships ranging from $10 a month to $150 a year. Plus, they are currently offering a pretty sweet special right now allowing users to try the site for a week for $5, if they use the seekrit code DEPLORABLE when signing up.
Sure, mathematically this is not actually much of a deal, as it is 1/2 of the monthly price for 1/4 of the access time, but who cares! It's fun because you get to identify yourself as an "adorable deplorable" because apparently that is a thing now.
The site's COO, Molly Lund, insists it does not have a political bent at all, so we have no idea what that "deplorable" thing is referring to. The site also reports that upon its launch, there were 10,000 visitors to the site whom they imagine were people interested in finding a love to die for. However, upon looking at the site, it appears that out of that impressive first-day 10,000 number, only 20 straight women across the country signed up, along with about 420 straight men, three lesbians and zero gay dudes.
According to the site's dating safety tips section, if you are shot through the heart, they're not to blame. Wouldn't want to give love a bad name. However, far as safety concerns go, Lund says “Our belief is if people are open and honest about gun ownership in the first place their intentions are good. In this respect, we feel it’s the safest option for them to meet others.” You know, because if someone says "I have a gun" there's like no way they will use that gun to murder you, and the real murderers are people who lie about having guns, or something. Still, not a risk I'd be willing to take, and judging by those numbers, there aren't a whole lot of women trying to take that risk either. Not even Nancy Sinatra:
(I’ve never been able to figure out if she’s like, supposed to be a dead person singing that song or not. I guess she is?)
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse