House Impeachment Investigators To Solve Ancient Mystery Of 'Is Trump Liar?'

BREAKING NEWS THAT IS BREAKING! The House impeachment investigators have decided to add another 'vestigation to their pile of 'vestigations, and it is whether or not Donald Trump is a liar.

BREAKING NEWS THAT IS MORE BREAKING THAN THE LAST BREAKING NEWS! The House is all finished! Trump is definitely a big liar!

OK, we are being silly, but one thing Rick Gates's testimony at the Roger Stone trial taught us that we didn't know already (read: did know already) is that Trump lied to Robert Mueller in his written answers. House attorney Douglas Letter told the DC Court of Appeals today, in the case over whether the House is entitled to the grand jury information from the Mueller Report, that the House impeachment inquiry is specifically looking at whether Trump was lying when he told Mueller in a number of his responses that he does not "recall" or have "recollection" of having foreknowledge of upcoming releases from WikiLeaks. He specifically said he does not "recall" having any such conversations with Roger Stone. It's been clear for quite a while that Trump absolutely did have foreknowledge, and testimony from Roger Stone's trial just firms that up.

There is a specific grand jury redaction in the Mueller Report where Paul Manafort talks about what Trump knew about WikiLeaks, so that question is key to the case.

Talking Points Memo reports that two of the judges on the three-judge panel, Judith Rogers and Thomas Griffith, "expressed skepticism" at whatever bullshit the Trump Department of Justice was selling, though it should be noted that Griffith is a George W. Bush appointee, and it's kinda unclear how far he's willing to go to protect Trump. CNN reports that the third judge, Trump appointee Neomi Rao, had a dumbass garbage question about "whether the courts should be involved in releasing information to the House that could influence an impeachment investigation." Oh golly, that's a hard one, Judge. Wish there was a series of Watergate rulings for you to look at or something.

(Fun fact: Rao's position on the DC appeals court, which she got after Trump put Bart O'Boofanaugh on the Supreme Court, is her FIRST TIME AT JUDGING. But she has written several articles defending "dwarf-tossing," so hashtag BEST PEOPLE!)

Of course, on the question of "Is Trump liar?" Brian Beutler tweeted out an important part of Robert Mueller's testimony that gives maybe a clue as to the answer:

VAL DEMINGS: Director Mueller, isn't it fair to say that the president's written answers were not only inadequate and incomplete because he didn't answer many of your questions, but where he did his answers show that he wasn't always being truthful?

MUELLER: There -- I would say generally.

You know, generally Trump is a liar who lied to Robert Mueller, generally speaking.

In other, possibly related news, Trump tweeted this morning that he is going to "strongly consider" testifying against himself in the impeachment inquiry, in order to clear his good name:

That sound you hear is every White House lawyer who hasn't quit diving headfirst into the caverns of the president's very svelte body to shut him the fuck up.

Hope they dove gently, though! Wouldn't want to mess up the stitches the president got this weekend at Walter Reed when he went in to get emergency-spayed or whatever, ALLEGEDLY.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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