House Passes DREAM Act, Which Will Kill All White People

The House passed the DREAM Act last night for some reason, even though it will certainly be filibustered in the Senate. But that's not a knock on it. The House should feel free to pass stuff they think the Senate will filibuster. It seems like they may finally no longer be afraid of that giant smoke monster that has kept them from passing things to which Republicans could possibly object. And they're only what, a couple of months too late for that to make any difference in keeping power in the House? So what does the DREAM Act do? It will make "Taco Fixin's" our official language. It will force all white scooter people onto a death march to Canada. And it will abduct Andrew, our little racist pundit mascot, and give him brown skin-grafts until he is a brown person.

First introduced in 2001, the House legislation extends conditional legal status for five years to those illegal aliens who:

• Were younger than 16 when they entered the country

• Have lived in the U.S. for at least five years

• Have a degree from a U.S. high school, or the equivalent

Beneficiaries can apply for an additional five years of conditional nonimmigrant status if they've completed at least two years of higher education or military service. Afterward, they could apply for permanent legal status.

In other words, terrorists. It would make terrorists citizens. [ The Hill ]