House Republican: Hillary Clinton Tricked Us Into Looking Stupid On 'The Benghazi'
Suuuuuuure she did
Remember years ago, or maybe just last month, when Hillary Clinton spent 11 hours explaining to Congress exactly how she did Benghazi and why she did Benghazi and that she would do it again, for the laughs that are NOT FUNNY, Madam Secretary?
Well! Indignant huffing sounds! Someone is very displeased about how the whole spectacle made Republicans look like freakin' morons, and that someone is ... drum roll please ... slow-talkin' slower-thinkin' Republican Rep. Lynn Westmoreland of Georgia. Now that he's had a month to let it simmer in his brain juices, he is mighty not happy:
“As you know, some of you may have watched the marathon Hillary Clinton fiasco, and I say that because Trey Gowdy, the chairman of the committee, wanted to interview her in private, and she said, ‘No, I want to do this in public,’” Westmoreland said in a recent speech uploaded to YouTube.
“Now to me, that was us stepping in a trap because we should have known that she was going to go on and just stall, debate, filibuster, on these answers to make it go as long as possible, so we would look cruel,” he continued.
Republicans had this plan, ya see, to make her look bad with their special Benghazi committee. They'd already started giving each other celebratory blowjobs, for driving down her poll numbers. And the Big Benghazi Hearing on Benghazi was going to sink her forever! It woulda worked too, if that meddling Hillary Clinton hadn't outsmarted them, by making them show their work. They were going to ask her all their dumb questions in private, so they could then make shit up to leak to the press and make Maureen Dowd all wet in her loom fruits.
But oh no, Hillz was like, "If you want The American People to learn The Truth about Benghazi, why don't we do that in public, for The American People?" So crafty, that Clinton. And then she forced them to ask the same really relevant questions a hundredteenleven times, and they were all about how she and gal-pal-with-a-peener Sid Blumenthal -- a dude whose name you'd probably never heard before, but turns out he is the key to all of American national security -- did Benghazi, together, WITH THEIR EMAILS!
That never would have happened, for 11 hours, if Hillary Clinton hadn't fooled them into doing it. They are just that dumb, it seems, and it's all her fault. Mean!
And making fun of poor dumb rotten peach Westmoreland, because she can speak southern hick just as good as him can? Well, there's a reason they call her Hitlery KKKlinton, you know.
But the Benghazi committee isn't about to let looking like fucking idiots stop them from doing that some more! Rep. Westmoreland says they get to go on a field trip "to Germany and to Italy to do some more research, on the Benghazi." Whee! But no! What if it is just another trap set by evil mastermind Hillary Clinton? It probably is. Perhaps the committee ought to stop spending millions of dollars on the nation's longest congressional investigation in history, just to be on the safe side and make sure she doesn't trick them into looking even dumber, on the Benghazi.