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House Republicans Have Helpful Tips On Correct Way To Be Raped

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Did you know that federal funding is currently not disallowed forsome abortions? It's true! Lucky ladies who have suffered rape, incest, or a threat to their survival are currently the exception and can steal YOUR tax dollars for baby killing. However, House Republicans would like to change this. The "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act" would protect your (Chinese-loaned) precious federal money from funding these sluts that have subjected themselves to rape. You see, this law would change the rape exception to include only "forcible" rape, a definition that excludes a woman's being drugged or date-raped. The Republican Party would like you to be vigilant: the next time you are raped, make sure you have full mental capacities and have been drugged and make sure the guy is doing it really hard!


Other types of rapes that would no longer be covered by the exemption include rapes in which the woman was drugged or given excessive amounts of alcohol, rapes of women with limited mental capacity, and many date rapes. "There are a lot of aspects of rape that are not included," Levenson says.

As for the incest exception, the bill would only allow federally funded abortions if the woman is under 18.

Oh, and statutory rape. If you have any ideas of other kinds of rape they could carve out of medical protection, please let the Republican Study Committee know! They'd be happy to hear from you. [Mother Jones via The Awl]

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Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

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