This morning we had a post about former (acting) Trump Defense Secretary Christopher Miller, and what a piece of shit he was yesterday in his joint House Oversight Committee testimony with former (acting) Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen about the January 6 domestic terrorist attack on the Capitol. But that does not tell the whole story of this hearing. In fact, Wonkette will have a total of THREE POSTS this morning on that hearing, because it was a biggun.

This post is a children's treasury of seditious Republicans showing their whole ass during the hearing. Did you know the domestic terrorists who attacked the Capitol at their Dear Leader's behest were just "peaceful patriots"? Or maybe they were not even Trump supporters? Did you know it was more like a "normal tourist visit" and not an insurrection, not even a little bit?

All these things and more!


For your amuse bouche, we'll start with Jim Jordan, who tried to claim to Rosen that there's a both sides issue between a handful of Democrats objecting to certifying the results of the 2016 election and Republicans LITERALLY TRYING TO OVERTHROW THE 2020 ELECTION. That's right, he drew a comparison between the 2016 election — where Donald Trump lost the vote of the people by almost three million votes and we were learning in real time that Russia had attacked the election, the one where we later found out that Trump's Electoral College "wins" in the Rust Belt just might have been affected by Paul Manafort passing internal Trump campaign voter data to a Russian spy who passed it to Russian intelligence — and the 2020 election, which Republicans LITERALLY TRIED TO OVERTHROW. Of course, the 2020 election wasn't close. Trump lost the popular vote by seven million and lost hard in the Electoral College, all while telling his Big Lie that he actually won. And then his terrorists attacked the Capitol to try to stop the certification of the election. So they're kinda different.

At the end, Jordan got mad because Hillary Clinton said a few times that the election was stolen. She didn't ever order the people in the pink pussy hats to attack the Capitol, of course.

Fuck Jim Jordan, moving on.

Seditious congress-dentist Paul Gosar, whose family hates him more than you do, was just really upset the FBI is even investigating the poor "Trump supporters" who attacked the Capitol on January 6. "The FBI is fishing through the homes of veterans and citizens with no criminal record and restricting the liberties of individuals that have never been accused of a crime," he said. "The government even enlisted Americans to turn in their own neighbors." You know, like they committed terrorism against Congress or something. Whiiiiiiiiiine.

He asked Jeffrey Rosen who "executed Ashli Babbitt," the Trump insurrectionist killed as she tried to breach the private House lobby. That's right, he called it an execution, when really it was more like that thing where you're just hanging out at your house in Syria and ISIS tries to beat down the door.

Those are just the worst moments of his questioning time, which ended with him bellyaching that the "DOJ is harassing peaceful patriots across the country." Maybe next time those "peaceful patriots" shouldn't storm the Capitol, we dunno.

But wait, were these "peaceful patriots" even Trump supporters? That's what garbage GOP Rep. Ralph Norman would like to know!

"I don't know who did the poll to say that they were Trump supporters," said Norman. (Probably Dominion Voting Systems, we bet!) We guess all those Trump flags and the fact they came directly from Trump's insurrection speech were just an elaborate antifa scam.

Norman may be skeptical of "the poll" what said Trump supporters attacked the Capitol, but GOP Rep. Jody Hice isn't, as he lamented the "Trump supporters who lost their lives that day." He added that it wasn't "Trump supporters who were taking the lives of others." We guess all those Capitol cops died WITH Trump supporters, not OF Trump supporters.

What a garbage human being.

But wait! According to Rep. Andrew Clyde, "there was no insurrection! To call it an insurrection is a bold-faced lie!" It was more like a "normal tourist visit," obviously. He is also very upset about the execution of Ashli Babbitt, who again was trying to storm the private House lobby, from which members of Congress were trying to escape.

Here's a nice video that puts Clyde's dumbass comments side by side with the actual terrorists doing terrorism.

Speaking of, CNN has just released bodycam footage of the hordes "tourist visiting" DC Officer Michael Fanone and beating him with a flagpole and shooting him with a stun gun and screaming "Kill him with his own gun" and giving him a concussion and a mild heart attack. Just a normal tourist video.

Just a "mob of misfits," as Rep. Pat Fallon also said in the hearing.

And finally, for your dessert, here is your very favorite Louisiana GOP Rep. Clay Higgins — yes, the one who emotionally warbled at Michael Cohen couple years back about WHAR BOXES? because he was so fucking confused why Michael Cohen had access to evidence the FBI seized from him and then gave back to him. WHAR BOXES? WHAR YEW GET BOXES? WHAAAAAAR BOOOOOOOXES?

Well in this hearing, Clay Higgins said IN-SEE-RECTION AIN'T WASN'T NEAR NOWHERE AS BAD AS BLACK LIVES MATTER. WHAAAAAR BLACK LIVES MATTER? THEY GOT SOME BOXES? WHAR THEIR BOXES? WHAAAAAAAAAR?

He also read some Maxine Waters quotes with terror in his redneck voice, because of how Maxine Waters is very scary.

And that is what happened in yesterday's hearing about the Capitol terrorist attack incited by the former Republican president, egged on by seditionist Republicans like these in Congress, who played along with Trump's Big Lie and tried to overthrow the election for him.

God bless America.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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